i dont wanna be religious.

it disgust me to see religious people around me, being so hypocrite.
they lie, they fuck, they steal, they are arrogant, they fight, they kill.
they praise their lord then do all the fcking sin conciously, then ask for forgiveness innocently, then do it again, then ask again.
you think being commit to one religion, is a fckn joke??

i dont wanna be that guy. i dont wanna be hypocrite.
it will make my sin double, being sinful and hypocrite.
i'm a sinful person. i do a lot of mistakes. im not ready to commit to one religion and obey all the doctrins the had. let me be sinful person, at least i dont have to lie myself and my lord.

really, they disgust me.

i dont wanna be religious. if religious means lying to yourself.

hormones oh hormones..

at first i can be happiest girl on earth, on the next second who knows? i can cry like a baby.

the good thing about being stuck in reverse is, it couldnt be any worse. so keep trying.

people like Henry Cavill, Shena Malsiana, Thomas Alfa Edison, JK Rowling..(i can name you a thousand but i can only remember them right now hehe)
they got similarities. 

they dont easily give up. they dont give up on first trial. they got rejected, one, twice, 3 times, even many times.
they failed. but they keep on trying. they fail, they try again, they fail better, until they succeed. 

oh whats the meaning of my words. who am i to tell you keep on trying. 
im still nothing. you dont know me. you dont know my work. you dont know me.
i cant even promise you anything. i cant tell you how many times you should try to be succeed. 
because i dont even know how many times i have to try in order to get what i want.

but you know them. they are the living proofs that you are not supposed to give up, on everything you want. everything you dream of. anything you wanted to be.
if you feel worthless, useless, hopeless, dont remember my words (bcs i can not prove you anything, yet!). remember them, who already make it in life.

that there is nothing wrong in giving it one more shot. you got nothing to lose. so lets give it one more shot.

this is me going gay.

what makes your house feels like home?

you can buy so many houses, but not every places can be your home.
nothing can beat that feeling when you feel warm and save.
you can take off your bra and being ugly without worrying people judging you.
you can goler-goleran seenak jidat without feeling guilty.
where you can do whatever you want, with people you love. 

you can not beat the feeling, that you know where to go when you feel exhausted and you wanna end up on that place, called home. you just simply wanna go home.

i ever feel really homesick, even i dont really travel a lot or staying on others place a lot.
i dont care how beautiful the place im staying, but its never the same without my family. (here goes the.. AAAWWWWW :") )

im not family person. my house is messy (yes, ask my friends), my room even more.
but i dont know, thats what my house is my home.
my family.

LOL JUST KIDDING. HOME IS WHERE MY HARDDISK AND STABLE INTERNET ARE.

Ps : no it's true.

aku lelah.....

gue salah satu pengguna jalanan jakarta yang memiliki mobilitas tinggi. tiap hari harus bolak balik selatan-utara-selatan. kendaraan yang saya pilih adalah motor. karena emng cepat dan lebih praktis (alesan aja, padahal karena belom punya sim a). you guys might be annoyed when i said i'm motorcycle user.
pengguna motor kerap kali dicaci dan dimaki pengguna jalan lain. katanya ga tau aturan lah, seenaknya, dan ga takut mati.

hey!!

itu benar. WKWK. gue juga ngerasa kadang gue emang nyebelin di jalan (apalagi klo udah telat)
tapi sebisa mungkin gue hormatin pengguna jalan lain. kalo ada yg mau nyebrang ya gue kasih, kalo macet ya gue ikut macet tanpa ngambil jalan trotoar, ya kalo lg ga bisa nyelip ya gue ga maksa nyelip diantara mobil2. i feel like saint while on the street lah pokoknya.

soalnya gue masih takut mati. hahaha dan gue tau gimana rasanya di posisi lain.
jangankan elo yang make mobil. gue aja kadang suka kesel sama sesama pengguna motor.

tapi mau gimana lagi. anyway, untuk jarak yg segitu jauh, kenapa gue lebih milih capek2 di motor daripada kendaraan umum?
well, this is what i wanna say.
gue sadar betul bahwa gue turut berkontribusi dalam kemacetan jakarta raya dan well, gue kesel juga.
tapi bayanginlah kenapa gue rela mcet2an drpd naik kendaraan umum? karena sarana transportasi umum di jakarta itu masih jauh dari kata "enak dan nyaman".

oke, katakanlah skg udah ada busway gandeng untuk koridor 1 (that's my route anyway) pas naik, widih keren.. gede.. adem.. muat banyak..

tapi, armadanya terbatas dan suka lelet karena jalanannya belum memadai fasilitas ini.

men, my time is fckin ticking! i dont wanna waste my time just sitting nicely on the bus! waiting it to be arrived, belum lagi kalo ada armada yang macet. halah! BUS MACAM APA INI! METRO MINI YG REOT AJA JARANG MOGOK AND WAY FASTER THAN YOU!

i mean, dear goverment, stop bikin ruas jalan baru, fly over, ato ruas tol baru, itu cuma nambahin titik kemacetan. karena selama transportasi umum lo belum becus, kita akan tetap lebih milih macet2an pake kendaraan pribadi daripada naik bus lo.

mau maksa kita dengan peraturan ganjil genap baru lo? percaya deh. masyarakat akan menemukan dan menghalalkan berbagai cara hanya untuk dapat tetap memakai kendaraan pribadi di jalanan. it wont work for long time. 

focus aja lah dulu dengan 1 solusi yang penting kelar dan menjawab permasalahan kita.

how to explain this..

if you think your love is worth fighting for (bcs it feels so right but it's so hard at the same time) then go fight for it. fight for your curiosity.
but give it a limit. think logically. give your brain a chance to decide to, wether its right-normal, or wrong-crazy-insane stuff to fight.
bcs when we in love, we usually got blinded by... love itself.

at first it could feel so right, you are so fckin sure he/she's the one that understand you so much. he/she's the one that love you too. BUT REALLY? we got 6 billion people and counting in this world.
how could you be so sure?

i might be lame for trusting faith. i might be lame for depending my life on so called destiny.
but i do.

so, when you fight for someone. go fight for it. but think logically too. if it seems so impossible?
then surrender. not giving up, but surrender.
have a little faith. let god do the rest for you. make the impossible, possible. :)

so, entirely universe has made a single rule. bros before hoes.

brosh before hoes. even it's applied for girls.
bro before hoes.
girls can stupidly spend so many (even much) things for his boy, but they will carefully spend something for their friends.
sacrifice so much effort for his boy but will not logically think, is it gonna work out? and deny all the advice she got blinded by so called true love.

really, girls? i'm pretty disappointed here.

eggs and religion nowadays.

so my family have this habit, where you gotta wash eggs before you put it in refrigerator.
i was asking why we gotta do it because im wondering. we eat whats inside the eggs right? and you guys know that egg shelter is pretty strong protecting the yolk and the white inside from all the beacteria outside, she said because we bought the eggs from unsanitary place, there are so many possible germs that brought within the egss shelter, so at least we wash away the egss so whole refrigerator didnt contaminated.

i was like, well makes sense.

then i dont know  iguess our family (well me) too lazy to wash the eggs one by one, so recently we just put it away inside the refrigerator.

then tonight my brother cook and egg. he took it from the refrigerator then wash it.
i was asking "you eat whats in the egg or the shelter? whats the point u wash it?"
he just remain silent.

i think that whats happen with so called religious people.
they didnt know exactly whats the point, whats the goal, whats the meaning by following the rulesm tradition, and whats so ever "god" taught to them.
they just simply follow them
that what makes them stupid. and pointless.
just saying.

first post on 2013.

2013!!!!!!

we survived 2012 finally. :')
banyak ngeliat harapan2 kecil sampai besar di timeline twitter utk 2013.
mostly minta cuma 1. (sesimpel) bahagia.

bahagia itu ga simpel. dengan meminta bahagia berarti lo meminta jalan hidup lo (dari segala aspek) dimudahkan. whats so simple with that? apanya yang hanya bahagia? sepanjang tahun bhagia? wih.. surga sekali.
meminta untuk bahagia sama aja dengan kata lain utntuk serakah.

padahal bahagia itu ga perlu minta. ga perlu cari. cuma perlu disadari.
sesimpel dengan bersyukur.


happy blessed 2013! :)

the good idea of breaking up

i always wonder, that when will this day come. and when this day finally knocking on me, i wasnt even ready.
i was trying to be prepared but actually im just lying to myself.

i lied that i will be ready, i wont be hurt or even holding you back.
i lied, that i dont care we're just hving fun. you dont matter to me.
i lied that i can through this.

there's no good in breaking up actually. i lied. 
but my good idea of breaking up is, ketika kita sedang keluar bersama. on regular date just for some chit chat.
then we both realize there's nothing we can do anymore.
then we both decide, "lets break up" simply like asking "hey you wanna have some tea?"
then, ok. lets break up. with a smile and no hurt feelings.
then they eat their ordered meal. finish them.
then they go out from that cafe happily, in separated ways.
then they continue their each life. 

but then i realize thats the most naive bullshit i ever made.
if you can simply asking your lover to break up and they say yes with no hard feelings.
then all you have so far, is just a big lie.