agustus ini..

saya melewatkan kesempatan besar saya, which harusnya bisa dan akan, tapi ga jadi, untuk ke bandung dan menyaksikan hujan meteor Perseus di boscha.

hukum saya. oh, ini udah hukuman ya..

note to self

so, you gotta back on track.

1. carry your camera more often.
2. listen more music
3. watch more movies
4. buy more magz
5. doodle more
6. write more
7. GO OUTSIDE.

the top 10 traits out of 90 that uniquely describe ME

TRY IT HERE

Unflappable

You are not a slave to your emotions. It takes a lot to upset or unnerve you. That's why you're a good person to have around in a crisis.
You don't let it all hang out, which means that those around you often don't know the pressures you're under or what you're going through. You're not the kind of person people run from in a crisis.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.
You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Impulsive

You trust your your instincts. What others may see as rash behavior is, for you, simply going with your gut. Individuals with a high score on the "impulsive" trait tend to try new, sometimes outrageous, things.
You are not timid. For you, spending time microscopically examining the pros and cons of every decision means never getting anything accomplished.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.
You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Carefree

You do what you need to do, without demanding that you be perfect. The world isn't flawless and you don't feel the need to pretend that you can make it flawless in your own little way. Therefore, you don't examine everything with a microscope and are comfortable cutting yourself and others a lot of slack.
You don't need for everything you touch to turn out perfectly. You don't go looking for errors, omissions, shoddy work, or bad taste.

Loose

You feel that a clean, orderly desk is the sign of a person who doesn't have enough to do. Schedules and "to do" lists feel stifling; you thrive on a sense that anything goes, and know that the world won't end if you don't clean up after finishing a job.
You don't need to know that everything is in its place; it is not empowering to you to feel that the world around you is neat and organized. Mowing down every item on your "to do" list, every day, does not bring you joy.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Accessible

You're comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn't like what they see it's not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the "accessible" trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.
You don't see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.

Slapdash

You believe things will turn out fine even if they don't go precisely according to plan. As far as you're concerned, it's not the end of the world if a project falls short of perfection.
You don't feel compelled to dot every "i" and cross every "t."

utopia in disguise.

but, being in this situation, like now knowing where to go or which way to take. makes you know.. how important, to have passion, to stick it in my mind. and pursue it.

ive been thnking so much, t\\looking up to the people i thought already make it. they wont be like they are now, if not bcs of.. they have something that running up in their veins and crashing down their nerves to be insane enough, to get it. to reach it. in any fckin way. -what the hell im talking bout.

theres always a slight blissful you can get from any kind of downiest moment in your life. if you were clear enough to see it.

at least know i know.  how it feels to be lost, and seeking my deepest passion back. my truly passion.

bcs back in old days, i always know what i want. like im choosing social over science. art over routines. being so rulebreaker instead of being obey. bcs i (think) i know what i want.
until these days, i am suddenly lost. and unsure. about what i am going through.

but then, i have to be back. ciao!

writing means being honest.

disini, kali ini saya mau mencoba jujur ya.

mungkin satu dua dari kalian ada yang notice keabsenan saya, dimana biasanya saya akan menulis paling tidak 3-5 posts seminggu, tapi kali in, tidak 1 post pun dalam minggu terakhir.

anyway, saya sedang mengalami, kebuntuan. ah gatau juga si nih buntu apa ngga. yang jelas rasanya semua yang coba saya keluarkan, ga enak. ga pantes dan ga worthy untuk di publish. sampah.
isinya cuma curhatan anak manja. najis sendiri.

dan kemudian saya akan berlari ke archives, yang pernah saya tulis dlu, dan bertanya sendiri kenapa saya bisa nulis kayak gitu. kayak bukan saya....

dan kemudian rasa ga pantes akan menyergap. dan bikin saya, males ngeblog lagi.
sampai sore ini, saya sampai pada satu kesimpulan, dimana semua orang bercerita, maka dari itu semua orang bisa nulis, tergantung apa mereka berani utk jujur. dan skg, saya belum bisa.

writing is being honest to yourself. where you write all your thoughts straight from your pen. thats why i choose wrting with my hand and pen instead of, typing.
i dont know. like theres a certain gap when i type.

then, now, it's not about how you write. but what you write. since writing is being honest. telling the truth from your head, you gotta have a great personality so ppl interested in reading your thoughts.
its about how you sell your personality through your words.

see? everyone can write. tapi ga semua orang bisa ngejual tulisan mereka. its all depends on their personality. karena balik lagi, ga semua orang sama.

pelajaran ya buat cowo-cowo diluar sana..

kita (cewe) ga butuh yang cupu. cupu doesnt mean you look like geeky or nerd.
cupu artinya.. cowo yang yg cuma manis dimulut. we dont buy your words. means, you are not brave enough, to fight for us.
if you really want us, FIGHT FOR US, till the end.

if you dont, then bye. 

ingin ingin..

sekarang ini.... sedang kentang sekali.
saya diinginkan oleh yang tidak saya inginkan dan mengingini yang tidak ingin dingini oleh saya. HAHAHAH kentang kan?
makan deh tuh kentang..

sleep when you die.

so hai, i notice my long no-post term here, so pleasee.. pardon me. im in the middle of big stagnancy here.

mm, tadi malem, saya ga bisa tidur. seperti biasa. jadilah, saya ga tidur sama sekali. hahah
what i wanna told here is, ketika gue ga tidur, gue pura2 tidur (eh? mulai ngablu kan nih otak) dan ketika gue pura2 tidur..
i noticed my dad always come to my room every morning.
at first i was annoyed. until i realized, he came to my room to turn off the air conditioner and cleaning my glasses.
cleaning, my fckin glasses! at 5 fckin AM in the morning!

gees. i was like.. awww thast the very sweet of you dad :')
i am kind of girl who dont fall for a sweet words and girly and romantic things. but this, is truly....... lovely. to me.
what he did to me. its simple, but meaningful to me.

and  i was like, i wouldnt know this if i sleep. everytime you sleep, you missed something.
so try to not sleep sometimes ppl.
so many things happen while we're sleeping.

so i guess, i'll sleep now. i dont care what i missed. ive seen much. i need to rest this whole body before i start craving brains.

thoughts #225

as soon as you stop wanting something. you get it.
so it happens to "him". i will never get him. bcs i will never stop wanting him.

thoughts #224

you make me jealous. you make me not willingly to let you go.
you are no good to me.