Wednesday, 27 October 2010

i think, the only reason catastrophes happened is, world need to be re-newed.
well.. with catasthropes happened anywhere and could be anytime, its like God's playing audition for us.
who stays, who doesnt, who worth it, who's not, who's needed, who's not. who cares, i do.

i guess..

are you worth it? prove it.


turut berduka untuk mereka yang terkena musibah Mentawai ataupun Merapi. i seriously feel sorry for them :( entah kenapa liat beritanya di tv tadi siang, hati ikut nyenyes. apalagi pas tau Sang Juru Kunci ikut menjadi korban amarahnya Merapi.
hope God will bless his soul rest in peace there and also all the victims of the catastrophes.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

thoughts #165

suka bingung sama cowok, katanya suka tantangan, tapi dikasih yang gampangan, di embatjuga. maunya yang gimana sih?

Saturday, 23 October 2010

thoughts #163

world is my playground.


(adj) charming
pleasing the mind or senses in a high degree; delighting; fascinating; attractive
everybody has charming. how ugly and bad she/he could be, but everybody does. and charming goes out when someone do something they really good (and like) at it.
example : 
someone is nothing until he plays drum. girls go crazy after him.

the question is : when was my charming out? have i?
senin midterm test.
terus, saya ga sembuh2 dari penyakit masa SMA, males. duh.. padahal teori semuaaaaa.

i was expecting more than this. more than thoeory, im sick of theory. im sick of bunch of people trying so hard to get scores. im sick of people around me. im sick of my playlist. im sick of pretending things i am not. im sick of being faraway from home. im sick of thinking of killing him. im sick of being uninspired too long.
im sick of eve-ry-thi-ng

end of story.


well.. you can say i suggest you some books to be read but, i would say, these are my wishlist.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

saya mau curhat sedikit kegalauan saya disini. karena itulah salah satu fungsi blog saya.

Monday, 18 October 2010


ketika duit lo habis entah kemana ga sesuai anggaran
ketika lo mau beli serial HIMYM tapi ga punya duit lebih.
ketika lo nyapa tapi orangny ga ngerasa disapa dan berlalu gitu aja
ketika lo ditolak dengan alasan apapun
ketika pekerjaan yang seharusnya buat lo, tapi keburu diambil orang.
ketika lo kangen, tapi lo gatau mesti apa, bcs you have no rights.
ketika lo mau nge-upload tugas dengan deadline nyaris, tapi internet is bitching.
ketika sakit saat harus menghadiri acara yang supposed to be fun.
ketika ditolak sama keluarga sendiri..
ketika lo liat seseorang nangis krn kelakuan lo.
ketika usaha lo ga dihargai.
ketika lo bela diri mati-matian gara2 dituduh sesuatu hal yang lo ga lakukan. tapi, ga ada yang percaya.
dan ketika lo kehilangan jati diri lo. dan gatau mesti ngapain.


ketika terdiam, dan merasa nyaman tanpa harus mencari bahan pembicaraan apapun.
ketika hanay duduk, dan menatap/ditatap matanya dalam.
ketika berjalan kaki mengarungi perjalanan sejauh apapun, tapi ga berasa.
ketika memandangi dia tidur.
ketika dibikinin makanan, padahal doi ga bisa masak.
ketika si doi tetep ngikutin kita dari belakang saat marahan.
ketika diam-diam diperhatikan oleh doi.
ketika Norah mengajak Nick ke studio bapaknya.
ketika disemangati oleh seseorang, secara tulus.
ketika sekedar ditemenin belajar ampe pagi.
ketika Adit bikinin Tita cincin dari bunga.
ketika kencan pertama Cinta sama Rangga di cafe.
ketika Rangga tiba-tiba mengandeng tangan Cinta saat nyebrang.
ketika tanganmu bertemu tanganku. dan kita memainkan jari kita.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

m. is under construction

  1. i really need to learn more about photography, by myself. so i wont let people underestimate me and pay me for nothing.
  2. find my colour and how to get there.
  3. saving for god sake.
  4. find part time job.
  5. read more english subbed novel.
  6. not following mainstream

Friday, 15 October 2010

i was bored and not feeling like blogging lately. this.

Your ex says they never even liked you, you say?

How do you dot your i’s?
Solid dots.

Do you get the trick in the song If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears?

Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant?

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
I got my heart now even in pieces.

What happened at 10:00 AM?
at class

Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?
Lesson learned

What were you doing at midnight last night?
searching some songs for my cousin's birthday playlist.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
my cousin

Is your hair longer than your shoulders?
Nope! :/

You can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
lemon tea? :3

Have you kissed anyone in the last 24 hours?

How much money did you spend today?
0 idr.

What will you be doing tomorrow?
have no plan. i want home.

How do you feel about your hair right now?
still wet. just took a shower.

Is your best friend a slut?

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
Yeah :\

What did you wear today?
short, Mickey tee's

What are you doing after this?
get ready for my cousin's sweet 17

Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
nooooooooooooooooo freaking way.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
my hair is cool. AHAHAHAH

What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
poor ? ahaah

Do you write notes on your hand?
no, my phone.

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Three days from now, will you be in a relationship?
Hahaha, nope.

Has someone ever made you a promise and broke it?
Promises can always be broken

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
i seriously forgot.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?

Do you think anyone’s lying to you right now?
Yap *staring*

Do you straighten your hair?

What do you hear?
me typing this and this and this *ok stop it*

What time did you wake up today?

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Yeah, forsure.

What will you be doing this weekend?
its weekend. this.

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
Hope not.

Do you get along with girls?

Would you consider adoption?

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to?

Think back five months ago, were you single?

Does anyone call you babe?
Haha, yes

Without naming names, say one thing to someone:

Do you have a best friend?

Is anybody interested in you right now?
how should i know.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would you get and where would it be?
along my hand, with a latin quote first. just maybe. camera and pisces later.

Is your school’s mascot an animal?
yesh :O a dolphin duh

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Not really

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Hahaha, yeah.

Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
Single. probably not available yet.

Why do you think people cheat on their bf/gf?
bored with their bf/gf. need more adventure! haha

    What would happen if you were stuck on an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest?
    .___. why now?

    Is it important to you if your friends like the person your dating?

    Wednesday, 13 October 2010

    ingin menggambarkan suasan sekitar saya,sedikit, sekarang.

    sekitar berisik. orang semua ngomong, saling balapan suaranya. kenceng2an. lebih seperti pasar.
    "ngepet!" "babi!"
    kiri saya, seorang teman saya yang sedang asik mencari kerjaan di sebuah situs loker indonesia.

    kanan saya, teman saya juga yang asik bersosialisasi di dunia maya melalui situs jejaring sosial yang hype. dia ga sadar justru situs itu bikin dia asosial instead of socializing.

    depan saya sebaris orang2 yang dengan cermat mendengarkan dosen saya kuliah. berusaha tetap fokus. dan sekali kali kesal dan berdesis kepada yang dibelakang.

    saya? apa bedanya smaa mereka?
    orang2 kayak ga kenal hukum.
    -ironi kelas hukum
    1. I'm stronger than you, you're nothing. you have no idea how hurt i am so shut up and being attention-whore.
    2. trust meh!!!!!!! i am freaking 18.
    4. notice me!!!!
    5. :*
    1. THIS.
    2. listening to David Choi's cheesy song.
    3. so hot man.
    4. Thinking about e v e r y t h i n g
    1. .
    2. .
    3. losing everyone .

    1. .
    2. Fall in love
    1. I am lost and found. and lost.

    Sunday, 10 October 2010

    STEP ONE: 
    Spell your name in songs - 
    Mouthwash - Kate Nash
    Aerodynamic -Daft Punk
    Riot Radio - the Dead 60s
    Gravity - John Mayer
    Accidentaly in Love - Counting Crows

    STEP TWO: 
    Name: ^
    Nickname(s): baem, marga, m. , margie, chich (??), but not Retha, please.
    Birth date: 21st of February
    Eye Color: black, but when the sun hit my eyes, it turns brown sometimes.
    Hair Color: black a bit red. it's gonna be blue, soon.

    The shoes you wore today: converse
    Your perfect pizza: any kind that full of cheese and meat.
    Goal you’d like to achieve: be happy and get paid for doing what i like.

    Your best physical feature: nails/ ahahahah
    Your bedtime?: about 11pm - 3am

    This Or That… 
    Pepsi or Coke? coke
    McDonald’s or Burger King: MACDONALDS FTW
    Adidas or Nike: couldnt care less
    Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
    Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOLATE IM NOT STUPID
    Cappuccino or coffee: mocca

    STEP SIX: 
    Do you:
    Smoke: Nope
    Curse: a lot
    Sing:only for my ears
    Dance: deends on my insanity at the time
    Take a shower everyday: yess.
    Have a crush: no
    Do you think you’ve been in love?: yes?
    Want to go to college: i am at uni so yeah
    Like(d) high school: yesh!
    Want to get married: just maybe.
    Get motion sickness: Yeap
    Think you’re attractive: yes but onyl some people could see it.
    Think you’re a health freak: hahahahahah far from it
    Get along with your parents: mentally :)

    In the past month… 
    Gone to the mall: noooooooooo
    Eaten an entire box of Oreos:  lol no
    Eaten Sushi: nope
    Been on stage: yea
    Gone skating: nope
    Made homemade cookies: nope
    Gone Skinny dipping: nope
    Stolen anything: nope

    Played a game that required removal of clothing: ehm no?
    If so, was it mixed company: -
    Flashed anyone: no
    Been beaten up: lol no
    Shoplifted: nah

    Age you hope to be married: 25ish
    Numbers of Children: er.. 2. twins.
    Describe your Dream Wedding: marrying Michael Cera. lol
    What country would you most like to visit?  The world.

    STEP TEN: 
    In the opposite sex.. 
    Best eye color?: lol i dunno clear brown always is a cool eyes colour
    Best hair color?: brown i guess
    Short hair or long hair?: who even
    Height: taller than me and it will be fine

    Number of people I could trust with my life: just few people.
    Number of CDs that I own: like.. none. such a download-bitch.
    Number of tattoos: 0 :/
    Number of piercings: non

    Personal Quiz 
    Who were you with yesterday? My friend and other people from uni.
    What woke you up this morning? my counsin's alarm -,-
    Where are you? now? at journalism class.
    Is tomorrow going to be a good day? how am i supposed to know? it should be.

    Ever thrown up in public? no.
    Passed out because of alcohol? No
    What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? fuck my notebook is getting low batt.

    What kind of home would you like? err...........................
    What do you want to be when you grow up? happy
    Where do you see yourself in 5 years?:O London.

    Do you like candy necklaces? Duh
    When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? yesterday-.-“
    Do you listen to music every day? Duh
    Do you still go trick or treating? Nah
    What was the last thing you ate? rendang. potatoes and rice.
    Are you a fast typer? Yeah but a very poor one
    Whats your favorite type of soda? I don’t really like soda
    Have you ever moved? three times.
    Have you ever won an award? No? lol
    Are you listening to music right now? no
    How long ’till your birthday? lalalala
    When were you the saddest in your whole life? Freshmanyear
    What time is it? 14.01
    Do you use ebay to buy or sell? No
    Who makes you mad? snobish people. smart-ass. (too) talkactive people. sok asik.
    Have you ever heard a song written about you? lol no
    Something you want to happen in 2010? isnt this year almost over?
    Summer 2010? ... every month is summer here.
    Honestly, do you miss 2009? YES. 

    1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? dontchawwishyouknew
    2. Honestly, whats on your mind? why so pervy survey
    3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? guessbitch (thsi survey duh)
    6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? No
    8. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? dad -.-
    9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? No
    10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? TRAFFVCK.and uncertain weather.
    11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? yes
    12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? yes,for always being starving and want to eat hahaha
    13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? Yes, please.
    14. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? Always
    15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? Yes but i dont really consider that person my friend so..
    17. Honestly, are you in denial? No. < it's denial haha
    18. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? yes
    20. Honestly, does anyone like you? how am i supposed to know DUH

    1. What do you do when you’re mad? keep silent and scream later.
    2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? said mean things to hurt people intentionally
    3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? YES AHAHAAH
    4. Do you swear when you’re mad? no
    1.When was the last time you actually cried? forgot.
    2. Ever cried yourself to sleep? no
    3. Do certain songs make you cry? Yes
    4. What usually makes you cry? lalalalala

    1. Are you usually a happy person? Yes
    2. What makes you the happiest? Everything could make me happy.
    4. Do you believe in yourself? Most of the  time
    5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy? i would be weird at first then say thanks bcs she/he notices it.

    permainan aneh.

    tenonet nonet tenonet nonet nonet @theorangekoala @mariachrstn klo ini intro lagu ap ???
    tiba2 kemarin di mention begini sama aceng, bikin saya tergelitik.
    dulu (ehem) waktu SMA, saya dan aceng, utnuk membunuh waktu, suka main beginian di kelas. (i was invented this freaking game btw.)

    caranya, salah satu dr kami mesti nulis lirik lagu (instrumental) yang terkenal. tanpa dinadakan. nanti yang lain mesti nebak lagu (ato jingle) yang dimaksud tuh apa.

    ya paling macem : tenonet nonet, tenonet nonet nonet.. ato, teng teng terengg, teng teng terengg, dan semcamnya. (jingle pertama : lagu pemanggil ular yang biasa pke suling, yang kedua : wedding bell yang khas itu loh ketika mempelai mulai masuk)

    gila kan? disuruh nebak jingle macam itu ucma bermodalkan lirik tertulis. hahahah

    tapi hebatnya, saya selalu bisa nebak soal dari aceng :D
    Sanctuary ;
    a small safe place, in a troubling world.

    where's yours? or what exactly yours?

    mine is, when i am home. even i have no big castle in the middle of glamorous town, even my home isnt made from chocolate and candy bars, even my home is in a outskirt town. i do feel safe here.
    especially, when i put my headset on, and my mind's traveling to everything i had through. or even i will through.

    when i wrapped my hands around him. in the middle of journey to go to my granddad's cemetry. 
    when i am with my friends, laughing like no one's watching. talking about unnecessary things. being goofy around. laughing until my six pact like coming out!

    when it's only me, books, and bed.
    when it's only me, memorable songs, and you.
    when it's only me, and the stars.

    when will i go to my sanctuary again? when will you join me?

    Saturday, 9 October 2010

    you will only hurt and be hurt by protecting too tight.

    what i learned today ;

    parents, lovers, people, have something (or someone) they love so much. i mean too much. and the more they love, the more they protecting that thing from anything that possibly hurt them.
    but, just like a sand, the more you squeeze them, they will run out through your fingers. like a bird, the more you hold them tight, the more they trying to fly away from you.
    so, please, give us space to breathe.

    today (i mean just now), to be honest, i just had a fight with my dad. its been 3982917231937 times i fought with him, tbh.
    and everytime we fight, we hurt each other.
    i tried, i tried to avoid fighting. but dad, cant you just gimme a trust and support? can you not underestimating me?

    i feel so crap for having no one to talk and end up talking here. to all of you.

    thoughts #162

    again? dont you ever feel.. enough? what about people who never get it even once?

    Friday, 8 October 2010

    gantian saya yang cerita.

    saya juga heran, kenapa mau aja saya diajak ke UI, dan ada aja ide saya untuk kesana. padahal kampus saya di ujung. ancol. iye, ancol!

    lalu, bermodlakan hanya sekedar tahu, dan ga pernah naik kereta (sendiri) saya pede2 aja melenggang ke stasiun kota. beli tiket, salah lagi, malah tiket ekonomi gara2 gtau bedanya apa yang pernah saya naiki dengan tiket lainnya. untung aja ga sekelas sama ayam dan kacang panjang.

    lalu, modal sok paham dan sms titi, saya sampai ke UI. SAMPAI! tapi kok........ternyata oh ternyata saya masih jauh dari kost-an batiti. hahhaa yaudah gpp, bagus ini 'pemandangannya'
    disini, saya asing banget. tp yang saya suka dari UI, adalah lingkungannya. dimana berasa banget, perkuliahannya. banyak mahasiswa tinggal sekitar kampus, daerahnya jauh dari riuhnya kota, adem, dan 'pemandangannya' bagus.
    gtau ya saya yang norak apa gmn haha

    setelah itu, ngadem bntr di kost-an, saya ke FIB brg batiti. si batiti ini pake ad aacr pertemuan dlu lg, yauda tunggu punya tunggu, untung ada daniel yangtdnya agak ragu pgn nyapa saya, dipkirnya, kayaknya ga mungkin Marga kesini.. hahaha, saya ikut masuk kelas.

    iya, masuk kelas kuliahnya si batiti. kt daniel jg gpp, kan kuliah itu bebas, siapa aja boleh ikut dgrin. kita bayar kan buat dpt nilainya. bukan kuliahnya..


    *tiba2 mood nulis ilang*
    intinya.. saya senang. saya melampaui ekspektasi orang2. mereka pikir saya mungkin ga sanggup, dari kota lurus ke depok sendiri, tapi buktinya syaa bisa-bisa aja tuh. saya menikmati ekspresi kaget mereka saat saya bilang saya dari ancol.

    makasi buat batiti udah mau saya repotkan hari ini :) i enjoy every second of it.

    Thursday, 7 October 2010

    "cause in your eyes, I'd like to stay"

    Tuesday, 5 October 2010

    Ya Ampun

    ya ampun. kenapa.. kenapa kenapa
    mungkin, satu2nya orang yang bisa ngerasain apa yg kita bener2 rasain adalah, tidak lain dan tidak bukan, rival kita sendiri. bahkan bukan sahabat. atau keluarga.

    ya memang kesal sama mereka, tapi somehow, you share same feeling with them.

    ada yang ngerti ga sih maksud saya?

    mungkin kesel ya, klo misalnya kita pengen beli satu baju, tapi ternyata baju itu diincer sm org lain. otomatis, kita dan org itu punya rasa ketertarikan dan kepengen baju itu yang sama besar. dan ketika kita ternyata kita sama2 ga mendapatkan baju itu, kita dan rival kita tentunya akan merasakan kekecewaan yang sama besar. karena dari rasa ingin yang sama besar tadi.

    iya kan?

    so why dont we be friends and share things?
    tapi kenapa lo selalu suka apa yang gue suka? liat apa yang gue liat? dan mendapatkan apa yang gue mau? kapan giliran gue?

    Suka memperhatikan orang lain, tipe pemimpin.

    Punya kemampuan mengamati yang tajam dan dingin dalam memandang melalui berbagai situasi, dan bahkan masih bisa menimbang untuk kebutuhan yang lain. Karena mereka memiliki pembawaan yang kalem dan dingin, dan rasa tanggung jawab yang kuat, mereka bisa menjadi pemimpin dalam kelompok. Populer diantara orang lain. Bagaimana pun, mereka mungkin tidak bisa menahan dirinya untuk mencampuri urusan orang lain karena mereka selalu punya keinginan yang kuat untuk memperhatikan orang lain. Selalu peduli dengan pandangan orang lain tentang dirinya, dan selalu waspada.
    apa : ikut MAKRAB (malam keakraban)

    tujuan : selain memakin-akrabkan yang sudah akrab dan mengakrabkan yang belum akrab. 

    alesan : penasaran dan katanya, wajib.

    yang di dpaat : selain satu setel baju yang full lumpur, bs dpt kesempaatn daftar MANDAUPALA dan berkenalan dgn senior yg kocak, and i got friends.

    kekurangan : kurang koordinasi dan kurang sabar (senantnya) dalam ngadepin ank2, ank2nya jg kurang respek dan masih kayak bocah. dikit2 ribut dikit2 ribut. gua aja yang bukan senat sebel. cuaca ga mendukung, jd kurang jerit malam huh!

    kesan : pada mental tempe ya.

    pesan : sebenarnya senat ga perlu minta maaf kalo abis bentak2 ank2, keliahatan cupunya. jgn terlalu manjain ank2.

    alesan abstainnya gue 3 hari ini.

    what : makrab 2010
    where : cisarua, puncak
    when : 3 hari lalu
    who : ya gue laah, masa bapak lo?!
    why : penasaran, makrab kayak apa seeh?
    how : it turned out, good. and might be memorable.