Friday, 31 December 2010



i'm here to blog this, meaning, i am home. pathetic much to spend my NYE? no.
i'm just too lazy to go out, to have a gathering with family. i dont know why. i just want everything to be... just normal. just.. not in the mood. perhaps, next year.

i have 32 fb friends who still online, which is, they are in front of computer, like me. i wonder why.

so, new year resolution?

Thursday, 30 December 2010

thoughts #171

zodiac and love is the only thing we should believe in. just thinking.

man, it's the last day in 2010

so lets make a recap what ive done in 2010.


nothing. (actually too lazy to think)

next year's resolution... ah screw resolution. i only believe in next year wish list. like Asbi said, maybe i should think about having a boyfie. i just.. should. idk :/
and getting a new proper job.

that's it.
see you in 2011 :)
i can smell that 2011 is gonna be awesome!

falling in love is sucks.

let me tell you why, bcs you couldnt stop thinking about him/her.

they are the first thing you think about when we wake up, and the last thing we think about when we go to sleep.
we couldnt stop expecting. too much. and (not) knowing it may hurt us in the future.
we couldnt stop thinking what if's that he/she does to you. and what the hell it means. EVEN IT'S JUST SAYING BYE INSTEAD OF OK BYE, NIGHT. SOMEHOW IT HAS DIFFERENT MEANING, when you're fall in love.
we couldnt stop thinking about how do they feel toward us and guessing all the meaning of their words.

there is no better word to describe it. it is indeed “falling” in love, and that’s what sucks about it. we are tricked into it like an addictive gambling game, and then you are tripped, and you fall, and you keep falling in a seemingly endless spiral. and, like everything that falls, you eventually hit a bottom, and it will be hard and painful. 
but then again, i dont say love's sucks. it's just falling that sucks. :)

life is about choosing.

saya suka heran sama orang yang mau cape2 mengutuk perokok dan memarahi perokok, bahkan ada yang tega menyuruh pacarnya sendiri untuk berhenti merokok.

contoh dekatnya, temen saya, sebut saja B. dia cewe. konvensional. ga suka asep rokok. dan marahin cowonya dan ngancem bakal putus klo cowonya ketauan ngerokok. ekstreme, man.

dan saya heran seheran2nya lg ada aja org ngetweet marah2 gara2 ada rang ngerokok di dekatnya.

life is about choosing. saya besar bersama perokok. saya sewaktu kecil, sering disuruh ke warung beli rokok. buat bapak saya tentunya ya. saya juga sering nyicipin rokok itu. serius.
tapi lantas itu ga membuat saya jadi ngerokok dan perokok.

kenapa? i simply choose.

saya memilih untuk ga ngerokok. bukan karena resiko penyakit dan teman2nya. gatau ga suka dan ga bisa aja. klo masalah penyakit saya rasa, in the end everybody dies.

nah, yang mau saya bilang disini, kenapa cape2 nyuruh, maksa, marah2, nyuruh mereka brenti ngerokok? it's their choice. mereka yang pilih. mereka dan hidup mereka. plus, mereka dan gede. i bet they know all the risks they took by smoking.

bisa kan ngomong baik-baik ke mereka untuk ngerokok di tempat lain, atau klo mrk ga mau, ya kita aja yang pindah.

makanya saya ga pernah akan ngelarang, jikalau saya dapet cowo perokok. menurut saya, saya ga punya hak ngelarang mereka. ASAL, dengan catatan keras, klo mereka inget saya, mereka ga bakal ngerokok depan saya dan bikin saya ikutan nanggung beban asep mereka.

yang dibutuhkan adalah kesadaran moral dan tanggung jawab untuk ga bikin orang lain ikutan merasakan dampak dari tembakau itu.

pilihan kita kok mereka yang ikutan mati. kan ga lucu.

so, make up your mind guys. for the smokers, and non-smokers.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

what if..?

do you know what will happen if, an 18th freak girl who has a drive license but never could control her power, an 18th girl who only knew the theory and never trying to drive since like a year ago (it was me btw), and a 12th girl who doesnt know anything about driving and only could pray and scream, being together trying to driving a panther?

chaos. epic chaos.

we were like this close, to death. HAHAHAH!
but the good thing is, we're alive.

we were likestuck in the middle where there was a big green truck at the back and white pick up car in front of us. and i was like, DAMMIT YO!
so the situation forced us to go outside through the highway so we can go back to out route.


but. after been yelled by mad drivers, and horned by people, we finally made it! after almost hitting a little girl who squatting in the middle and that was so close to her death if her father didnt hurry picking up her.

HUAH1 at thr end, no one injured in this crazy nearle death experience :)
thanks god!!

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

gue sebel sm yang rebek2. asli deh.

Sunday, 26 December 2010

we are indONEsian!

looking all the happening issues today, make me sick!
we are indonesian.
our slogan is unity in diversity. if you cant handle that, we're willing to kick your ass out of this country.
we have so many race bcs long time ago, many merchants in the world came, stay and married our indigenous people.
we have 5 religions bcs we've been colonized!
dont you all learn these when you were at school?
dont your teacher tell you to tolerate others?
dont act and talk you are the smart one and the holiest one. im sick of your shit load brains!

Saturday, 25 December 2010

i kiss you a merry christmas! ho ho!

me and my freaky buddy made this 2 awesome greeting cards.

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

situ percaya takdir?

lagi makan, tiba2 dapet SMS, gimana sih rasanya jarang dapet SMS trus tiba2 hp bunyi ada sms.
agak seneng. haha pas buka,

Apa anda pemilik 6285711661xxx? kalo YA, SELAMAT krn anda calon pemenang 50jt yang dibagi HR INI. konfirmasi kirim KEJAR ke 885. tarif Rp4000/2 konten

kejar ga ya? emang segampang itu jadi kaya? kalo emang beneran ternyata bisa menang dan gue baru saja melewatkan 50 jt lewat didepan mata gue? apa lg denagn kondisi #butuhduit banget.


Tuesday, 21 December 2010

so tell me how awesome your mother is.

i'll give reasons why my mom is awesomeee :
  1. she's tough as hell. i mean it. dealing with this cold stubborn girl (read me) for the rest of her entire life since 1992. oh please, even santa could go kill himself.
  2. whose mother who climb the tree and catch the dead rat inside dirty attic? my mom. whose mother who could be so creative by fried cauliflower so it looks like chicken (and i'm punk'd) ? my mom. whose mom who could make the greatest cake and dress in the same time. not my mom but well, she can do that separately.
  3. she's been left by her father since she was at high junior school. and she had to take care of her 6 sisters and 2 brothers since she's the oldest. standing applause. i cant even.
  4. she is smart i dont understand why her brain isnt coming down genetically to me. i heard from my aunt, she's always being in the first rank when she was a student. and yes, she's (mom) been talking about that since i was kid too. 
  5. she works for 24/7. and not being paid. yet. (well i plan to pay her with fly her to somewhere in Europe with her husband. someday)
  6. well, who doesnt adore her mom so much? being a mom is already a super thing. plus she didnt left me. she loves me however bad i ever treated her. how loud i ever yelled at her. how hard ive been. and how many fighting we've been through. she didnt left me. she born me. she made me, me. being mom is big deal. and i do love her even i cant show it yet.
  7. i can make this list until 100 but, i dont have too. i know every mom is awesome in the end. whatever she's been through and done. and every child has their own superhero to pick. their own mom.
"if she(or he or even them) can do it, then you too. you both eat the same rise. unless she eats rocks." - the greatest mom, ever.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

thoughts #170

someday i wanna be able to tell my grand kids, bcs i am once a big dreamer so live it my way to achieve my dream.
therefore, you should choose my way kids. live the dream. make it true.

thoughts #169

i make you realize how much you love her, huh? i guess that's all the bitches's job.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

how does it feel to be there Muk? :(

masih dalam keadaan shock dan ga percaya. ngenes.

post kali ini gue tujukan khusus buat temen sejawat gue pas di SMP Mater Dei yang mendahului gue dan yang lain.

sore kemarin, tiba2 dapet SMS yang bener2 bikin gue speechless. Aria Mukti temen gue pergi duluan.
gue ga bisa cerita banyak tentang dia. yang gue tau dia baik. baik banget dan ga pernah marah. dan lucu. dan pinter. banget. he was my prefect at 7th grade.

yang paling gue inget pas gue sempat sekelas sama dia, dia duduk di belakang gue di kelas, pas pelajaran biologi, dimana gue, gue dan ketiga temen gue (sumpah gue lupa siapa aja waktu itu, yang jelas kalo ga salah kita ber4 mengelilingi Mukti). asik2nya ngobrol dan ketawa2, sementara si Mukti sibuk ngerjain tugas yang dikasih guru.
tiba2 saat gue dan yang lain ketawa ketiwi, tiba2 si Mukti ngamuk kayak gorilla. triak gitu. dan spontan gue dan yang lain diem.
bukannya takut malah ketawa ngakak. abis kocak. ga jelas banget tiba2 dia teriak. hahahaha
dan he always could make us laughing without trying to joke. apaalgi kalo dia udah presentasi, belum ngomong dah bisa bikin ketawa.

selain itu, yg gue inget, the last time i saw him, he made a big progress in his body. he turned soooo skinny and unhealthy.

cuma itu yang gue inget. sedih banget rasanya. ga percaya.
ketika gue dan yang lain masih berjuang disini, tiba2 salah satu diantara kita udah ada ayng menghadap Dia.

rencana Dia tuh emang.. complicated ya. coba dipikir, Dia ga semata-mata tiba-tiba membuat seseorang meninggal kan? ada proses dibalik itu. entah itu sakit (yang pasti dari jauh-jauh hari), rentetan kejadian yang bikin kecelakan dsb. dan tentunya setiap yang kita lakukan itu merupakan bagian dari rencananya kan? jadi setiap hal yang kita lakukan sekarang, adalah rencana yang membuat kita, semakin dekat ke our ending.
ya kan? hmm 

gue selalu berpikir, orang baik mati muda. entah kenapa, pikiran uge, kalo seseoang mendahului kita, itu simply just bcs God thinks he/she is done in this world. dia udah cukup baik dan tugasnya dah selesai. jadi kembali ke Dia. bcs God loves them so much he wants them be next to him.

sekarang, tinggal kita.
pertanyaannya sekarang, how do you want to be remembered by people around you? what do you want to leave for people? how do you want to spend your life?

Sunday, 12 December 2010

i hate people talking about their death as if they are going to die tomorrow. as if i am surely not going to die before them. as if i am going to be forever to watch them die.
and my mom is one of them. my mom likes to mention her death if we had quarrels. she always tells me that she'll die someday. and i was like, i know! and mom, i'm not going to be forever too. who knows?
so please.

so it happened this morning.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

akyu bgt yak. unyu~ -.- #serius

  • Berpikiran abstrak.
  • Inteligent, bijak dan jenius.
  • Memiliki kepribadian yang mudah berubah.
  • Mudah menawan hati orang lain.
  • Tenang, pemalu dan rendah hati.
  • Jujur dan setia pada segalanya.
  • Keras hati untuk mencapai tujuan.
  • Tidak suka dikekang.
  • Mudah memperlihatkan amarahnya.
  • Suka berkawan tapi kurang memamerkannya.
  • Sangat berani dan suka memberontak.
  • Bercita-cita tinggi dan suka berangan-angan
  • Optimis untuk merealisasikan impiannya.
  • Suka hiburan dan suka akan benda yang bersifat seni.
  • Tidak suka kepada hal-hal yang tidak perlu.
  • Romantis di dalam tidak diluar.
taken form here.

you are willing to die after..

  • go to Europe, spend my Christmas with my family there. enough. since having Christmas in Europe is the only thing i dream of when i was kid.

He is my Religious views.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
John Lennon

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one."
John Lennon

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality."
John Lennon

"The more I see, the less I know for sure."
John Lennon

"Living is Easy with Eyes Closed."
John Lennon
"I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."
John Lennon 
"God is a concept by which we measure our pain."
John Lennon  
"I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong."
John Lennon

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
John Lennon
"I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it.
It's just getting out of one car, and into another"
John Lennon 
"Make your own dream.

That's the Beatles' story, isn't it? That's Yoko's story, that's what I'm saying now. Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.

That's what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.

There's nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can't wake you up. You can wake you up. I can't cure you. You can cure you."
John Lennon
"How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?"
John Lennon 
"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives"
John Lennon
"When you cross the street, take my hand"
John Lennon 
"The more real you get the more unreal the world gets. "
John Lennon

penasaran deh

kan lagi marak2nya gadget hp sejuta umat yang digandrungi baik ababil maupun non ababil ya, (yang singkatanya, depannya B, belakangnya B) itu lohh, tau kan kamyu? jangan ngaku anak gahul kalo kamyu gatau!

oke back to topic. selain banyak pengguna depannya-B-belakangnya-B itu, maka muncul juga banyak gadget yang berusaha menjadi pesaing hape lebar ini.

sama2 dilebarin lah. semacam, es*a, nex*an, dan teman2. kan sama2 lebar tuh. ya kan?

(ngomong apa si lu Ga dari tadi.)

intinya, apa pemilik, founder, ato bos besarnya es*a, nex*an, dll itu jg hapenya produk mereka sendiri ato malah mereka juga pake BeBeh?

taruhan sama saya, mereka pake BeBeh. trus. kenapa mereka masih mau jual barang mereka kalo mereka sendiri ga pake barang mereka? kenapa si omBakr** ga pake es*a huawe* yang seenteng krupuk itu? HAYO HAYO?
itu kan produk dia sendiriii......

btw cape deh ngomong dibintang-bintangin mulu. dah ah. just saying hehe 

they fight in wrong way

akhirnya, setelah cuma kepengen kepengen doang buat fotoin anak punk, kecapain juga.

jadi begini ceritanya. temen gue, Verty, mau menjadikan anak2 punk ini sebagai narasumber tanya jawabnya. tapi lucunya, dia bahkan ga bisa ngebedain mana anak punk, mana alay, dan mana abang2 biasa yang kebetulan make ban pinggang besi ato celana ketits (baca ketat) hahaha

jadi tiap ada orang yang dia pikir cukup punk lewat, dia selalu nanya ke gue, "Ga, Ga itu anak punk bukan??"

bahkan dia sempet nulis pank. bukan punk. lalu heran, gue tanya aja, "ver, lo tau ga sih punk itu apa?"
dengan polos dia jawab, ngga. gubrak. ngapain lo wawancarain dia modal nekad doang tapi gtau mereka gimana. yang dia tau cuma satu, anak punk serem. brutal.

yauda, gada kelas, kita cabut di ke kota tua. karena emang pgn bgt foto anak punk, gue minta ikut. jam set 9 nyampe.
sepi ~~~

tunggu punya tunggu, gada tuh kelihatan satu anak punk pun. yauda nyerah, dia pun wawancara tukang jual minuman aja. DOH.

eh tiba2, siang jam 12an gitu. ada 2 orang muda berbusana punk, si Verty langsung semangat nanya ke gue, memastikan itu punk bukan? gue bilang, iya. tapi ga usah nunjuk juga Ver. digaplok ntr kita. disangka ajak ribut.

2 anak punk sedang ngamen.

"samperin ga nih?"
"gausa, ntr jg dia nyamperin kita, dia kan lg ngamen."

bener. disamperin. yang satu kribo ga keurus. yang satu blonde booo'. jidatnya bekas luka jahit asal. non medis. matanya bengep. kayaknya abis brantem. tato dimana2. megang ukulele, baru nyanyi sebaris, langsung ditembak sama Verty. mas wo ai ni, ni ai wo ora? HAHA ok jayus. ga deng.
boleh minta waktunya ga? saya mau bla3...

mereka cuma bilang, mm, tp kasi uang makan aja ya mbak. sambil  senyum unyu. trus bilang, ini ga di.. (kehilangan kata2)
gue sambung aja. ga kok mas. ga dipublikasiin. paling cuma depan dosen. tau maksud mereka.

yauda.. kenalan. namanya Gele dan Jojon. tanya punya tanya, makin lama kok makin ngawur si Gele. kayaknya nih 2 anak masih beler dah. tanya apa, jawab apa.

Gele & Jojon. 

inti yang mereka sampaikan sih.. intinya mereka memilih jalan sebagai anak punk, karena mereka merasa ga puas sama pemerintah. mereka ga suka sama ketidakadilan yang banyak terjadi sekarang. so mereka kayak bersikap ga peduli lagi sama apapun. mereka ga sekolah, karena mereka ga peduli lg. sekolah kayak jadi budak. semuanya duit. ujung2nya duit. mereka juga dah minta izin dan maaf sama orang tua mereka karena memilih jalan yang begini. mereka punya usaha, usaha tato, sablon, tindik. dan bahkan, gue sempet ditawarin untuk tindik. krik krik.

trus entah si Verty nanya apa2, tiba2 si Gele meraih tangan Jojon yang penuh tato dan nunjukkin ke gue dan verty.
"mba tau seni ga?'
*nelen ludah* "iya mas.."
"seni kayak gimana ini mba?" nunjuk tato
"hm... ya seni mas hehehehe" ketawa bego.

trus si Gelenya lanjut ngomong, kita jg bs tato sndr mba. jgn anggap kita remeh bla3.

itu, baju mereka yang metal2. katanya mereka bikin sendiri. sepatunya juga. hwaaaa. bikinin dong mass hahaha

sebenernya banyak yang mau gue tanyaain ke mereka. tapi sayang, itu bukan wawancara gue, dan itu direkam. kan ga enak tiba2 ada suara gue.

maksud gue, hello, lo pikir dengan lo ga sekolah, lo bisa ngubah apa? pemerintah dan masyarakat cuma bisa mandang lo sebelah mata. gue rasa mereka juga ga paham2 banget tuh soal musik punk. dan begonya gue, gue ga sempet nanya, mereka suka band apa. penasaran sumpah.

ah menurut gue intinya, mereka berjuang dengan cara yang salah deh. ga sa;ah jadi anak punk, tapi. kalo emang tujuan mereka itu baik, why dont they fight in a right way? kalo begitu, kan cuma ngerusak masa depan lo doang. ah tp gpp sih, anak punk itu kerne kok :p cuma serem juga hehehe

tapi overall, dont judge from cover deh. mereka beneran baik kok. cm agak beler aja. hahahah pokoknya kalo kita baik sm mereka, ktnya merek jg ga bakal knp2..

i just want one fine Christmas.

Old Christmas movies , Coffee, Cookies, Snow, Home, Me.
but its gonna be too selfish to be spent alone. Family.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

before it's too late..

efek ga ada bakery yg buka jam 9 malem. 

bcs if you werent born, i, or maybe, we, wouldnt be here. i wont have you as my best girl ever :)
now i know why ppl celebrate birthday. bcs we're happy that birthday person is born.

Monday, 6 December 2010

thoughts #168

where did all the butterflies go?
terkadang, sesuatu yang paling menakutkan itu... waktu.
waktu kok kayak terbang ya. cepet banget gitu.
gausa ngomong kayaknya br kemaren gue di ospek, kayaknya jg br kemaren orang2 berramai2 menyapa Desember. eh skg? dah mau msk minggu k2 aja gitu?

ow ow ow

apalagi, kedatangan Yemima tadi pagi, bikin anak2 sekelas agak shock. rambutnya yang udah asimetris seleher, tiba2 dibondol, dicepak ala cowok. still asimetris. so ppl was like omg what the hell did you do with your hair? and how was your mother react?

Yemima cuma nyengir, "emak gue cuma bilang "gilaaa" dan bokap gue.. malah nganterin gue ke tukang salonnya. dan gue cuma bilang, mumpung masih muda mak.." ke emaknya.

and it made me thinking. iya ya. kalo dah tua dia dicepak gaul gitu mah baru orang boleh shock.
dan gue mikir lagi.. iya ya. kayaknya gue mesti naik gunung nih atau melakukan hal-hal yang selagi gue bisa lakuin sebelum gue tua nanti. sebelum gue penyakitan. sebelum gunung abis dijadiin kota.

i mean, i dont wanna spend my time regretting what ive done nor i didnt do. i wanna try everything as long as i can.

gue gamau terjebak dan menghabiskan waktu gue mengerjakan hal yang gue ga suka. dibalik meja kantor dengan segudang kerjaan dan tuntutan bos. dan tiba2 masa muda gue ilang gitu aja? no way.

but sometimes, doing what we like isnt get along with what we need. sometimes, i do afraid and sometimes so many "what if"s come to my head.

so i guess. the conclusion is.. time flies. start doing something.

Sunday, 5 December 2010


i dont think i have anything to show off, or anything to be proud of, or anyhting to be charmed, right now.
i am not in he mood to have lovey dovey relationship with anyone.
it is not the time to get my attention, i dont in the mood to look at anyone.
if you still trying, i tell you, you need to get me hard. harder than anyone. bcs i am not easy.
so here's the deal.

you stay away or i'll go away?
please, just not me.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

10 reasons why i am happy.

i am happy bcs i am alive.
i am happy bcs i am health enough.
i am happy bcs i have my best friends.
i am happy bcs i have my family.
i am happy bcs i dont need to lose my weight.
i am happy bcs i have camera and a chance to achieve my dreams.
i am happy bcs i had you.
i am happy bcs my dream came true.
i am happy bcs God listen to me.
i am happy bcs i couldnt find reasons why i am not happy about?

Friday, 3 December 2010

thoughts #165

if you lose someone you love. if someone doesnt love you back the way you do. if you are breaking up with someone.
remember :
you lose someone who doesnt care and love you.
he/she loses someone who care and love them.
so why you have to be so miserable whether they are the one who actually should be? they lose you.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

thoughts #164

there's a moment where i wanna scream, crying out loud, and back then, i think of you. and that moment, i wanna punch myself for doing that.

it sounds so selfish and childish to me.

I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into the room and smile at you.
Unknown (via kari-shma)