Friday, 30 October 2009

what do you think by seeing this pict?
i think about my party.
it supposed to be like this
the concept is being free.
where all the guest have to dress in all white. no black or coloured are allowed.
and then, we have a splash of colours from many ways. and we have fun of this.
we express our feeling by throwing some paint to the other guest and then we laugh.
we dance to the beat. we sing. we move. we cry. we are wild. we are happy. we are free.

it ought to be the real party.

recently, since i entered the last year in high school, people often asked me, where i am going to after this or what major i am gonna take.

some people of my friend, still hesitate with their own choices. either its too much options or no option at all.
and some of them take the unmatched major with the majors they're in now
even, some of them still dont know what the majors they will continue after this and have no interest to continue to college after this.

so, with surely, i answered my destination after this and proudly said that i want to be a photojournalist.
but i think the journey still so far.
but sometimes i can imagine myself in 5 years ahead that i'm taking some pictures, in the streets. doing my job. and camera is hanging on my neck wherever i am.
having a gallery. working for some famous magazine/newspaper. being a journalist, or being an eyewitness of this cruelly reality from my picts.
or, taking a great and artsy picts with models for some reputable fashion magazine.
ah it seems so fun.

i wish i were.

and sometimes, a consistent person like me can be so hesitate too.
some of them , ever wondering why i dont take a DKV major instead of communication. just because they think i can draw well and i can design something properly.

well, i am wondering too.
and maybe this is the answer, that i love to connect with the people at most rather than drawing.
i can , i am good. i have potential on it, i like it, but i am afraid that i am too moody and it make me stuck. besides, i hate dealing with rules.
you know, some rules that teacher made when we create something.

they said, art is free but they still told us to do this to do that. told us that our drawing are too rude, and bla bla bla. to make line like this and to sketch this way.
its not because i dont want to be criticize but i am wondering it supposed to be free like you said to us, right?
so if our drawing isnt fit with your eyes, it just means that we cant draw well. yet.

just wondering.
but i still love doing art.

and some of them wondering why i dont take a psychology major just because i am good at understanding people and listening. and i am good at observing people. my prediction about people mostly is usually right. and they think i can give a good advice.

yeah, i wish i have a much time,a lot of money and energy to take those 3 majors.
because basically i love to learn.

and talking about learning, i learn a lot from using my analogue (Fuji MDL 09 - panorama).

first, the weather and the light does matter so much!!!
second, the length. between the object and me do not being too close.
third, light leak!!!!!! omaigoodahh, i have to cover it.
forth, something wrong with my camera. it didnt work properly. and it made some of the films are blank. only white blank film. damn. you wasted it!
fifth, i have to observe more and cherish all the film inside. dont waste it. its not digital. think more, shoot less. but sometimes, dont think just shoot - is good too :)

thats how we love Gogh

"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day." -- Vincent Van Gogh

(first trial)

taken by me.
edited by me.
using analogue anyway, Fuji MDL 09 panorama
yeahh you can spot the light leak, and i dont interest to remove it.

check my other artwork here

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Doesn’t matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar."
- Alex Karev
We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.
— Meredith Grey
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
— Meredith Grey
People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all of their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them, don’t. Some wounds, we carry with us everywhere and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.
— Meredith Grey

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

i just realize, that i have Bathophobia.

find your own phobia here.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

things i seriously should do

  • saving. using analogue isn't always cheap :P especially when you are very excited of it and cant stop spending your film. and always want to know more more and more about what the result would come out
  • saving. when you want to start your own business. man, i need much capital.
  • saving. when you cant hold your lust to buy film(s) and battery.
  • saving. when you cant get enough of analogue and desperately (ehem its hyperbole) want a DSLR one too.
  • saving. when you are so independent and feeling too reluctant to ask your parent for some money.
  • saving. when money is needed everywhere nowadays.
  • saving. when you are such a big big spender.
  • saving. when there are so many temptation outside (we are talking about food and beverage, books, clothes, tickets, shoes,but mostly food. omg. i mean we just cant buy those things in one time, right? who do you think i am? President's daughter?) especially when your tummy cant compromise at all and you are about too hard to reject it.
  • saving. when you are about feeding yourself and plan to live alone, one day. yeah it is long-term plan, but what's wrong with get used to it from now, right?
  • saving. when sometimes its wiser than you spend your money for something useless.
so, it think it should be titled, the reasons why do i need to save.
i think my only problem is, i am just such a big spender.
its not about the amount of money but desire inside and the temptation outside.
oh man, life is beautiful.

Monday, 26 October 2009


as om Tion said :))

so cool.
btw, please dont see it as porn thing. its really not -.-

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

  • I .. just look at me.
  • you're disgusting. so much.
  • do you even respect me?
  • I'm in
  • FCK YOU.

TEN things about yourself:

  • I shoot pictures.
  • I am an impulsive and love to observe people.
  • internet is my best friend
  • I don’t eat vegetables and onion.
  • I like to eat. not as daily needs but as hobby, though.
  • I love vignette
  • I want to be higher.
  • I dont like chatting in facebook because sometimes its annoying, while we open some pictures or writing a wall then suddenly a chat box popped out. its really annoying. but you can chat with me, but i just dont like it :)
  • I change, though.
  • I hate dealing with Bank things. seriously. that's why i don't like online shopping and not taking care of my saving account.

SEVEN ways to win your heart:

  • hmmm…actually its hard being easy (gampang gampang susah)
  • i dont like flowers, poems, chocolate pick up line but i like simply romantic things.
  • be goofy, funny, freak, yet gentleman for me.
  • dont trying to patronize me.
  • amaze me with yourself.
  • share to me.
  • be charismatic and character but not OVER!!!

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

  • how to earn money $$$ ( i think its becoming our lifetime problem since we were born)
  • the photography contest
  • the chances
  • those disgusting boys, sometimes its really annoyed me. just random. not seriously thinking of them.
  • tomorrow's accounting test :| dammit. i dont understand anything and i still wonder why so many people want to take accounting major in college. even when its so much promising. i dont fcking care!! i hate dealing with numbers.
  • future you only me.
  • people.

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:

  • browsing mindlessly till i get bored or sleepy
  • watch a movie or listening to the music
  • go to toilet and bla bla bla
  • off the light, thinking (again)

FOUR things you see right now:

  • computer
  • a writing book with a Bakugan cover
  • my phone
  • argh so many things in front of me. i am not tidy person.

THREE songs that you listen to often:

  • (currently) yellow - coldplay
  • (currently) the ordinary boys - i love you
  • (currently) hmm, i just listen to them repeatly now.

TWO things you want to do before you die:

  • i hate this question
  • i cant answer this question

ONE confession:

  • I am unpredictable.

The tempo of the rain, Leonid Afremov

genius ♥

omegle all the way


light painting. i cant find the credits. sorry :|

love is crap. i prove it to you.

1.) Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

2.) Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

3.) You turn my software into hardware!

4.) If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

5.) I’m like a video game, You can play with me all day long!

6.) Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

7.) Was your father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

8.) You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

9.) Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

10.) You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

11.) There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

12.) I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

13.) Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

Which one’s your favorite?

things that i miss so much :

  • watching rugrats
  • watching the Addams Family (if i celebrated Halloween i might be Wednesday Addams. my unfriendly face would be very supporting.)
  • watching any cartoons in the Sunday morning like i used to do when i was kid
  • watching power rangers and get entertain of it instead of knowing all the things inside only bullshit
  • waiting for the Christmas Day because there would be so much home alone movie and other Christmas movie
  • doing my homework after back from school (cause since i entered JHS i was never doing my homework at home. mostly at school in the morning)
  • waiting for my birthday no, i haven't like my birthday things since i was kid.
  • going to St. Christopher Church. the only church i'd like to go. the only church that i can feel really in church.
  • hugging my mom so tight
  • teasing my little brother.
  • sleeping at 9
  • reading Bobo

basically, i miss my childhood much much muchh.

when everything goes blurrier than ever now. when everything seems not promising at all. when you cant hang on on anyone but yourself. when the safest place you can reach, you dont know where. when there are so much seduction but nothing you can trust in guide you but yourself.
when you can sleep so tight and knowing there will be so much fun tomorrow to do instead of worrying about it.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

how to install love

Tech Support: Hello … how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install
Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you
located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and
Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get
the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error
- Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set
up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the
following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The
system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but
eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed
and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Love story cover from romeo's perspective. by Gabe Bondoc (did i tell you i love his voice? i love it)

We were both young when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts..

.. you're standing there.. on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.

Making my way, I'm moving through the crowd to say "ello.."

Little did you know..

.. that I was Romeo, as I was throwing pebbles..

.. heard your father say "Stay away from Juliet!"

Had to leave you crying on the staircase.. begging me "Please don't go!"

So I said..

Julie I'll take you somewhere we can be alone.

Just be patient.. nothing left to do but run.

You'll be the princess, I'll be the prince..

It's a love story baby say "Yes."

So you sneak out to the garden I'm hiding..

.. we keep quiet cause we're dead if they find me.

Close your eyes.

.. escape this town for a little while.

I was Romeo, you were my Juliet.

Even my father said loving you is not worth it.

Had to leave you on crying on the staircase.. begging me "Please don't go!"

So I said..


Julie I'll save you, they'll never come between us!
Just hold on and love is gonna free us!

Don't be afraid, oh we'll make it through this!

It's a love story.. baby just say "Yes."

I'm sure she's tired of waiting.

Swear I'm on my way, just had to work some things out!

I hope her faith's not fading..

.. that was when I met her outskirts of town..

.. and I said..

Julie I apologize, didn't mean to scare you.

Need you more than anything.. I refuse to share you.

Saw it in her eyes, she didn't know what to think..

I knelt to the ground and I pulled out a ring..

And said..

"Marry me Juliet.
You'll never have to be alone.

I love you and that's all that I really know!

I talked to our families, pick out a white dress..

.. it's a love story baby just say "Yes."


Cause we were both young when I first saw you.

glow in the dark clothes. so stunning.

cant believe it? me too.

lets sing.. !

"all i wanna do is find a way back into love eat eat eat eaaaatttttt!!!!!!!!!!!"

just give me something to chew and swallow!! before i go wild, wild and wilder!

PS : i am ten times more dangerous when i am starving. jfyi.

Friday, 23 October 2009

the art of waiting

future faces

104 years

102 years

112 years 111 days

these are the portrait of 3 centuries people. i mean, not literally 3 centuries but they already through 3 centuries. ( examples, they was born in 1089, means you through 1800, 1900, and 2000.)

and allegedly, your face when you're old is your child's face plus a few wrinkles, or many :P

examples :
this is when Mbah Surip was kid.

this is when he was old.
not so different, right?

sooo, lets back it to me. i am wondering how my face look like when i am old because i think my face when i was kid is so Japanese (btw, i am not) and too chubby. how can that face plus some wrinkles can be proper to be an old face????

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

bedah bloooggg

saat ini saya sedang merasa boring yang tiada tara dan emosi yang sudah diubun2 ngurusin movie maker yang nampaknya ga bersahabat ma komputer gw. oh my God. asli kesel abis gw.

sampe2 ga mood ngapa2in. akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk .. "BEDAH BLOG"

yeah. blog yg kali ini akan dibedah adalah blog saya.
mari kita mulai.

judul : margiiee and the Black Sheep.
kenapaa black sheep padahal Marga itu kan the orange koala. nah, black sheep itu adalah seseorang. dah enough ya.

lalu dari alamatnya
nah kenapa gw milih quote itu? karena saya suka quote itu. ga ada yang ga mungkin tp ada yang ga mgkn terjadi kalo kita cuma berharap tanpa berusaha :)

layout gw, dah gw ganti hm.. about 5 times.
have no reason. gw cuma orangnya bosenan bgt jd gw srg mengganti layout gw.

lalu, gw suka jenis tulisan verdana (small size), georgia, dan century gothic. thats why lo bs liat knp d blog gw jns tulisanya ituuu mulu.
dan gw suka wrn item putih dan sdkt wrn2 pastel. thats just so me :PP

alasan knp pny blog?
actually blog pertama gw itu pny sjk desember thn lalu. tp ga gw publish krn itu isinya private. no one knows, seriously.
lalu setelah jalan beberapa bulan, gw kok kayak ga bebas gt pny private blog krn ada some posting yang butuh mau gw publish, so i made this one so all of you can read it :)

blog gw kebanyakan isinya cm pikiran2 gw, quis2 yang mgkn klo gw publish di FB tuh annoying bagi beberapa orang, dan hal2 lain yang emg pgn gw publish.

gw ini termasuk org yg rajin ngepost. krn menurut gw, blog gw, kayak jurnal gw yg bisa dibaca org, semua org. maka gw ga pengen org bosen sama isi blog gw yang jarang update.
dan masalah bahasa yang gw gunakan, mgkn recently english, karena gw menyadari, blog gw dapat dijangkau oleh orang dari berbagai belahan dunia, jadi untuk mengantisipasi itu, supaya mereka jg bs enjoy bacanya dan ngerti maksud gw, gw bkn dlm bhs inggris

tp untuk kali ini ngga. hehe lg malees.

terus.. mungkin gw meruapakan salah satu penginspirasi blog2 temen2 gw. pede gt hahahaha
tp emg beberapa tmn gw jd pny blog gr2 ngeliat blog gw.
btw, gw pgn pny blog, terinspirasi dr blog ini

blognya lucu hehe.

(gila setelah gw baca ulang postingan gw yang ini, ga penting bgt ya hahaha bodo!)

terus, apa yang gw harapkan dr blog gw ini adalah semoga lo mendapat inspirasi dr blog gw. semoga blog ini membuat lo jadi sedikit bersemangat dan semoga blog ini bisa nemenin lo kalo lo sk ol malem2. hehe soalnya gw sk postingnya malem2 ke subuh gt :P

terus, gw jg berharap semoga blog gw makin bagus (amin) dan isinya makin bermutu. sukur2 bisa bawa rezeki :PP

udah dlu yaa, mau main sama movie maker lagi.
kalo kata agan2 kaskus "keep posting, Gan!"

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

this is my drama. what are you being in my life?

Margaretha as Ms .... (fill in the blank, please!)
Maria Christina as ms. lovable-funny-but-quiet-moody
Asmara Abigail as Ms know-what-to-say-and-how-to-amaze-people
Barbara Vania as Ms lets-have-some-fun-this-is-so-boring
Erlin Triartha as Ms childish-and-clumsy-but-has-a-mature-thoughts-at-the-same-time
Elvina as Ms i-cant-reject-you-i-love-you-full-or-too-kind
Amethisya as Ms this-is-me-so-what?
Windy as Ms always-texting-someone
Rara as Ms i-am-so-damn-boring-to-the-max-so-lets-play
Dudi as Mr knows-everything
Tabitha as Ms i-am-just-a-big-mama's-girl

that's all. actually i have more label for people around me, but i only wrote these because i kept it to myself.

I feel stressed out I wanna let it go Lets go way out spaced out and loosing all control. Lets paint the town We’ll shut it down (shut it down)

Here we come
here we go
we gotta rock rock
rock rock rock

Easy come
easy go
now we on top
top top top top

Feel the shot
body rock
Rock it don’t stop stop
stop stop

Round and round
up and down
around the clock clock clock clock

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday

we keep keep keep keep going up
we know what we say say
party everyday
p-p-p-party everyday
hmm.. yeah. i was not update my blog since hmm, a couple days ago.
and it was record for me, who considered as the owner of the most updated blog.

hmm, i dont know. i just did not have much time.
have no idea what to say, hmm no no, have no mood to write down my story or even my thoughts.
i have never stop thinking anyway.

so, this is just update, to show that i am still alivee
by the way, i got the scholarship. i was happy. just happy :)
thanks God!! it helps a lot.

and...... suddenly, i become hesitate of my future. i mean, what i wabt to be.
is that what i want? what i want?
am i sure? am i gonna regret it?

i will take whatever it comes to me.
chance doesnt come twice.

sooo, let's get the party started! turn on the music and just follow the beat! (what the hell i am talking about??)

Sunday, 18 October 2009

things to do before i die

i wont die
if you can love , you cant let go something (you love)
if you can let go something, it means you don't love (something that you let go)

so, show me how to love and let go something in the same time.

movies to watch, this week.

FIKSI the movie

My Life without Me (to Abigail, you have to watch this!!)

Friday, 16 October 2009

something about love.

cinta itu gila. -- karena membuat kita jadi gila dan hilang otak. sampai ngelakuin hal2 ga masuk akal.
cinta itu tak kenal permisi. -- kayak kilat tiba2 menyambar kita. dan tanpa mempertanggung jawabkannya.
cinta itu kehidupan. -- karena kehidupan untuk mencinta
cinta itu kasih. -- tidak meminta balsan dan rela memeberikan.
cinta itu kesabaran. -- menunggu itu tak ada batasnya.
cinta itu sakit. -- apabila..
cinta itu gombal. -- no comment.
cinta itu jatuh bangun. -- bisa bikin sakit, bisa bikin senang.
cinta itu rumit. -- yah, rumit pokonya :)
cinta itu penyakit. -- bisa menular, dan menyebar dan semakin besar.
cinta itu seni. -- karena bisa indah tergantung perspektif masing-masing
cinta itu bullsh*t
cinta itu harus siap untuk dilukai.
cinta itu abstrak.
cinta itu pengorbanan.
cinta itu perjuangan.
cinta itu Tuhan.
cinta itu pikir2 dulu -- ahahahah, cinta itu ga pake otak, mas.
cinta itu aneh.

cinta itu.. rahasia. -- karena ga ada yang tahu.

so what do you think about love?
for me, i cant describe because i didn't found it yet. maybe because i am not seeking for it. yet.
by the way, i don't know love :) i just know how it hurts. and the glory of it.

quick share

soooooo, how are ya doin, folks??

3 days seems so short. and i already miss those things.
i was from my school retreat.
and it was great, fun and sooo touching.

yeah, and today i was back to my dusty town.
ah Ciawi - Pamulang its kinda short. its only take 1,5 hours to get there.

and when i arrived, i was just collapse! hahah
btw, during my sleep. something happened!

earthquake again :(
and i didnt feel anything! omy..
but thankfully, it was all okay. we are fine. and nothing broken.

i just hope the best for we all.
God bless us.

and i just realized something that everything could be happen.
we are nothing but dust in God's eye (yeah i am just being like so religious - now.)
i mean seriously, a few secs ago, we could laughing out loud but in the next seconds, who knows? earthquake happened.

see what i mean?
so, what i got fro this retreat :

this is LIFE. just be good for you and each other, because being useful for each other and not only yourself makes you life more or truly LIVE!

LIVE your LIFE. enjoy every seconds you got and do your best.

hmph.. my body is really stiff, sore, whatever. because i played limbo without knowing my vigor. and it makes my muscle or something inside argh i cant explain. too tired.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

01. Mychael Danna & Rob Simonsen - A Story Of Boy Meets Girl 1:35
02. Regina Spektor - Us 4:49
03. The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out 4:03
04. Black Lips - Bad Kids 2:08
05. The Smiths - Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want 1:52
06. Doves - There Goes The Fear 6:56
07. Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams 3:05
08. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition 3:53
09. Carla Bruni - Quequ’un M’a Dit 2:44
10. Feist - Mushaboom 3:44
11. Regina Spektor - Hero 3:31
12. Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends 1:20
13. Wolfmother - Vagabond 3:47
14. Mumm-Ra - She’s Got You High 3:25
15. Meaghan Smith - Here Comes Your Man 3:14
16. She & Him - Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want 2:12

Sunday, 11 October 2009

a movie to watch - 500 Days of Summer

McKenzie: So do you have a boyfriend?
Summer: No.
McKenzie: Why not?
Summer: Because I don’t want one.
McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.
Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent? McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?
Summer: No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.
McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Summer: Really?
McKenzie: Nope.
Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–
McKenzie: Break it down!
Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.
McKenzie: You’re a dude. She’s a dude!
Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus

just for fun.

her name is Struggle. she has a big ear that means she's listening and understanding people. her body is patched everywhere, just like her heart. her mouth is shut like she cant talk. once it opens it will be so noisy. she wears glasses. she wants to dye her hair someday. and she's tattooed like cheetah cause she is, as fast as starving cheetah. and actually, she's a bit Gothic.
and just don't judge her in the first glance, maybe shes a bit creepy and look so unfriendly, but just try to know her inside. you''ll find something different!!

(avatar goblok, ngekekekek >> ketawa super aneh)


i saw many deaths last night.

umm, relax man, it was just in a documentary movie that i watched in Kineforum at IKJ
but seriously, it was creepy.

yesterday i went to IKJ and watched their movies that they played in Kineforum.
i watched 3 short movies (about 15 minutes each movie) and 1 documentary (about 80 minutes)
short movies were made by IKJ's students to fulfill their last assignments.
and it was great. greater than Indonesian movies that i used to watched at cinema.
10 times better.


"Kabar Gembira"
"Purnama di Pesisir"

my favorite is "cinta" and "kabar gembira" (hmm i cant decide) because they have a lot of philosophy and great point inside.

now, back to the topic. i saw many deaths in Favela Rising (that documentary)

why? it tells about Favela (slum) in Rio de Jainero, especially an afro-brazilian guy named Anderson who lived in that comunity, born as one of them and tried to save favela lifes in their environment where all the favela used to kill and tortured unfairly by the police.
it tells favela life and how Anderson saves them by his music. afro-reggae.
not bad but it a bit boring hhe.

yeah so far, it really touched my heart i mean how can POLICE who have duty to uphold fairness instead act so unfair to the slum. (you can see how the police persecuted them, it was really have-no-heart-acts)
yeah i mean they become slum almost because they sold the drugs but somethings just goes unfair there.

you cant kill someone just because you saw them as a slum and, become a slum doesn't mean that they must be sold a drugs. oh come on!
you cant kill them as easy as you kill an ant.

hmm, i think thats all. i am pretty tired today. actually my brain is stuck. i want to write many things but it just cant come out.
so bye.

notes : anyone who read my blog and want to be a police, no offense. just be a good police. just because you wear that damn uniform doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. we are human.

and yeah, reality hurts 3 times more, man.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

thinking of youu, what you would do?

oh i become so sad if i heard this song. remind me of some feelings that i bury inside.

sometimes its good to talk to stranger, mom.

Stranger: Hai
You: hello
Stranger: you remember the plan, right?
You: what plan?
You: im forget
Stranger: For tomorrow
You: tell me more
Stranger: Yes i will
Stranger: You, Greg and Gwyneth will drive close to the bay tomorrow

You: who's gonna buy some beers?
You: ok
Stranger: Wait with that 'til the celebrating
You: what about the yeyo??
Stranger: forget that to
Stranger: anyway

You: so what should i do then...
Stranger: gwyneth will blow up the telephoe booth close to the bay
You: ok
Stranger: the cops will arrest her
You: do i have bring my gun?
Stranger: but it leaves us the opportunity to infiltrate the building
Stranger: know what i'm saying?

You: yeah
Stranger: of course you need your gun
Stranger: especially because you're the gunman
Stranger: El Pistolero

You: i will get my deagle
You: btw, what building??
Stranger: The only bouiding thats close to the bay Jake!
Stranger: you know what building

You: dang thats mcdonald dude.
You: check ur map..
Stranger: God...
Stranger: FUCK
Stranger: wrong bay

You: change ur plan bob
Stranger: I will, we take the west bay
You: and...?
Stranger: check your map
Stranger: you must recognize the building

You: ok, ill take the west wing..
Stranger: of course, as always
You: straight to the right
You: 2nd door right?
Stranger: no the left, you holds the map up and down
You: my bad...
Stranger: and the third door
You: left...
You: 3rd door
You: got it...
Stranger: god, we've been there daytime and have prepared so muuch
You: 2nd floor?
Stranger: you must know
You: or 3rd?
Stranger: yap, second floor
You: i dont recall
You: whos gonna be my back up?
Stranger: Greg will blow up the doors
Stranger: so bring your penguins
Stranger: sorry, earcups
Stranger: i'm your backup

You: ok, maybe i should bring my cat to...
Stranger: gwyneth will be killed by the pilice
You: what????
You: why?
Stranger: she doesn't know yet
Stranger: but we dont need her afterwards

You: after i take the stuff, i will kill greg right?
Stranger: no greg is a useful man
Stranger: we three stick together

You: split by 3...
Stranger: but when we're out again we'll get some backup
You: ok, got man...
You: got it
Stranger: but we'll kill the backup when they're no use
You: ill be the trigger man
You: i love killing peoples
Stranger: Thats the spirit Jake
You: hell yeah bob
Stranger: BYE THEN
You: wait
Stranger: and good luck jake
You: 1 more question
Stranger: yes
You: can i fuck gwyneth tonight?
Stranger: yes of course, right after me
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.

(btw, its not my conversations. i got it from someone. but its quite funny so i shared it here)

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Joko Anwar is the mannnnn

hmm, mungkin kali ini gw agak telat ya, gw ga tau lo semua dah pada tau apa belom tentang yang bakal gw bahas x ini, tp br skg gw dpt feel buat bahasnya.

oke ini mengenai om Joko Anwar (yang gatau siapa dia, sana cr di wikipedia) dan tindakannya yang hmm, gokil.

awalnya si gw emg liat di twitter kalo dia dpt 3000 follower dia bakal bugil k Circle K. once again, he'll be naked if he got 3000 follower on twitter (i am bit forgot its 3000 or more)

i thought he was joking, and he wont do that insane things. to be naked and go to Circle K and shows your tits to everyone, even a drunk man wont do that.

but, suddenly his followers incresed and GOTCHA!! he got more than 3000.
so, as a gentle man who can prove his words, he was naked. and went to Circle K naked!!!

what i am wondering now, what the hell he's thinking before he tweeted that and how does it feel when he got 3000 followers.
and did you lose your insanity?

is that important to get many followers?
but, salute!! you are the damn lunatic man.
you're not just bullshit-ing but you did it.

*clapping hands*

kalo gw jd dia, mungkin pas gw bnrn dpt 3000 follower, gw bakal jungkir balik dari ujung jalan sawo 1 ke ujung jalan sawo 2 kali ya. abis mesti naked ke circle K gitu. mending kalo gw bkn siapaa2, lah kalo gw public figure! mau dikemanain muka gw abis gw bertelanjang ria k Circle K?

i mean, how does it feel to be naked in Circle K, man?
what makes you lose your mind? just for fun? its not fun. its gross, man :D

but, that's okay for me. i am not contra the nudity. because i don't see it as a porn way but sometimes i see it in my way which you may not understand it.
but this.. this is so freaking insane! XD

moral of the story : beware of your mind and mouth, twitter is not everything. it can be so dangerous, man.

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

pict of the day

pac-man Christmas tree. so cute.

giving up isnt in the winner dictionary.

In a game run a marathon 20 October 1968, long ago, after most of the audience started to leave the stadium, suddenly several people who were still in the main stadium startled by the sound of the sirens howled into the main stadium.

A half-crippled runner ran with difficulty entering the Olympic stadium of Mexico City who has been getting dark. As a result of a fatal collision incident with another runner at the start of a marathon race, he was asked to stop because of the spilled blood of his wounds, but he refused! He still ran to the finish line even though it was determined the winner of an hour ago.

Then there was a asked him "Why do not you stop when he was injured early in the game?" He said, "My country did not send me 5.000 miles to start the game, they sent me to finish 5.000 miles."

(this is the man)

Akhwari known as an Olympic Hero not because he won the gold medal but because of its commitment to finish the game.

This story reminds us that do not easily give up. Remember, giving is not the choice of a Champion. We must give all the best to achieve the objectives.

Monday, 5 October 2009

sorry for the late posting

this is my freaky friends and me. and my shitty editing.if you notice something, just keep it yourself okay :) i know it is quite lame, i am not good at adobe things.

So, it was taken when Indonesian batik's day (2nd Oct). UNESCO was authorize batik as Indonesia original culture.
because, a few months ago, Malaysia tried to admitted Batik as theirs. goddamn you :P

so, in my school to celebrate it, we have to wear a batik uniform.
i feel like,funny.
we all, wore many various kind of batik. from red to blue from white to black.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

i should be wilder than this next time.

Graduated High School. -- as soon as possible.
Kissed stranger.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course. (i hate to take course)
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado. (dufan? :P)
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). (my mom just will straightly kill me if i did it, at least if she knew i did it.)
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself. (accidentally)
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing. (kalo canoeing, yes i did haha)
Cut yourself.(is my hair count?)
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library. (actually, i just borrow it and never plan to return it)
Gone to a different country. (argh)
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun. (but i did it with paint ball gun, count it?)
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide. (i am just afraid to kill myself haha)
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe. (ASAP. so im not gonna scratch this. this is my whole time wish list)
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about yoursexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed. (of thinking)
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal. (piranha. my dad's, long time ago)
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Your parents sent you to a shrink.
Been a. (???)
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren’t home. (my mom is always home)
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone. ( i told you)

this list just show how good girl i am for this far. maybe i'll do some 'fun' later.

goes wild

HAHA. this my friend, Abigail and me. today
we were on some family fun day at Arthayasa Stable. actually, i was there to work but somehow we were just doing some fun like that. tried body painting.
i drew her a zebra pattern and an eye. she drew a leopard pattern and a peacock on me. love it.
btw, do you see she matched her hand with her zebra print bag? haha

PS : earth, why were you quaking us? :( let us pray for Padang, Irian, and Indonesia.

its about what much

i miss him too much, maybe three much.
that's what Diana Rikasari said

and this is what i said,
i don't miss you too much. or even one much or three much. because you just hurt me three much already.

Friday, 2 October 2009

question of the day

"Jadi Soeharto itu baik ato jahat, Ga?" with innocent face while we watched chronology of the Indonesia reform era
-Moniq's (my super duper tardy minded classmate :P)
I felt so dumb when she asked me like that. i wanted to decide he's bad but somehow, i thought he's not that bad like people think. and suddenly in a zillion seconds, i felt like i regret not to study and pay attention about my state reform era very well , cause it seems i missed something.

Thursday, 1 October 2009

update :

remember when i say,
"crying isnt for me, but i cant hep it when night comes and when i am alone"
in my older post

it happened guys.
i had never crying while dreaming since i was kid but last night, i did.
damn. i dreamed about the respond of him, about my recently problem.
then it was really really hurt me. he just was damn cruel , in my dream last night.

but actually, i am a bit forgot what did he say, but i know it really hurts.

suddenly, i woke up with my eyes full of tears and instead of stop crying, i continued crying and then, i was like why the hell do i cry??

how could this things got me this messed?

:)) bye, and wish me luck with my DIY project.

50 things guys dont know most about girl (its simply little but important things that could make girls fall for you, guys)

1. Girls hate it when guys say perverted things.

2. Girls like to be told that they’re beautiful, rather than hot, pretty, cute, or sexy. It just gives more meaning.

3. Girls love to feel special, even though they might not show it.

4. Girls talk about EVERYTHING with their girlfriends. So that means, you’re possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you’re a Greek god, which you’re not.

When girls are online, they want the guy to instant message them first, and they literally burn up inside when they’re not messaged . Of course, when they are messaged, they play it all cool and go “oh, hey” as if they just discovered your message.

8. Girls find it awfully attractive when guys wear just a white t-shirt and jeans and yet they happen to look awesome in it.

9. Remember. Sense of humor. GIRLS LOVE GUYS WHO CAN MAKE THEM LAUGH.

10. Girls hate guys with bad hygiene. So put on that deodorant and clip those nails!

12. Girls love it when a guy pulls them close by the waist.

13. Girls go crazy when a guy smells good.

20. When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever.

21. The smallest gestures, the smallest stares, and the smallest statements could make a girl’s year. No joke.

22. Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don’t know what the hell just happened.

23. Girls daydream about their crushes. Like getting married, going on dates, kissing, etc. They just don’t show it.

24. Girls HATE players.

25. Guys who can sing are a major turn on.

26. Guitarists are sexy. (according to me, bassist sexier )

27. When a girl is upset and wants you to listen, she wants you to listen. Don’t give her advice unless she asks for it.

28. When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if you pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be alright.

29. Girls love it when guys say their name.

30. Girls don’t like short tempered guys.

31. Sometimes girls just wish that guys would notice when they get a new haircut or if they’re wearing eyeliner.

34. Girls will never say I love you unless you say it first. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to scream it from the top of her lungs.

35. Girls love confidence. (but dont to much, play our curiosity)

36. Girls don’t like rock-hard guys. They like to know that guys can have a sensitive side too.

37. There comes a time when girls have needs too. Enough said.

38. A girl will cry over you a lot more than you think.

39. A girl’s wounds can last awhile. And when I say awhile, I mean awhile.

40. Girls hate guys who smell bad.

41. When a girl cooks for you, you know you mean a lot to her.

42. Girls don’t like it when you think other women are hot and say it so.

43. Eyeliner is a girl’s essential product. Don’t ever try to take it away from her.

Girls hate it, absolutely HATE IT when guys don’t keep their promises. It throws them over the top.

45. Every girl fantasizes about her wedding. Her dress, her flowers, her shoes, her hair. More than you think.

46. Girls hate it when other girls flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too. Ah, the beauty of irony.

Girls will save instant message conversations when they like a guy.

48. A phone call, a text message, or a single Hershey’s kiss will mean A LOT MORE than a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates on her birthday.

49. Every girl think she’s pretty in one way or another. They just won’t admit it.

50. Girls are VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS when it comes to their looks. No makeup is a very sensitive topic to them.

its just so simple right? no need a big mansion or a luxury car, we just need these ,and gotcha. you got our heart. but it doesn't mean we are easy to get, some of us are really hard to get. i think including me, though.

whats happened lately??

just information, finally setelah mengalami pergunjingan yang sempat membuat orang2 indonesia naik pitam terhadap tindakan malysia dengan mengklaim batik,
akhirnya UNESCO bakal mensahkan batik sebagai milik indonesia

besok. 2 oktober 2009.

ok, kita punya sesuatu sekarang.
berhubung dengan peristiwa tersebut, sekolah gw dan mungkin sekolah2 d indonesia juga begitu ya sebagian.
mewajibkan para murudnya untuk berseragam batik.

it was surprised us.
dan ga jarang sebagian pada mencak2 protes. ga punya lah aneh lah itu lah.

nahhh, yang mau gw sorot disini adalah..
keanehan yg terjadi. kenapa?

pas batik dklaim org sono, lo pada marah2 emosi.
giliran dah dsahkan dan disuruh make sehari aja lo pada males.

maunya tu apa dehhh.
kalo bukan kita lg yg make dan bangga, siapa lagi?
ga mau kan kejadian2 kehilangan kayak yang lalu lalu keulang lagi?

ayolah kawan, setelah gw pikir2 si its not that bad la for using batik only one day.
ini juga membuktikan kalo kita peduli dan cinta budaya indonesia.
kalo bukan kita yang cinta siapa lg kan??

dan emg si kalo d sekolah gw tu, ngasitaunya dadakan bgt. otomatis pd kalap.
dan jujur, emg pas pertama dkasi tau gw termasuk org2 yang kaget dan agak males.

iyalah males, ke sekolah pake batik sama ROK PUTIH seragam hari senin gt, siapa yang ga mls.
tp setelah gw pikir2..

apa sih yang ga buat indonesiaku tercinta aww! hahahah

so, lets appreciate our culture from the littlest things.
dan semoga dengan kejadian perebutan batik ini, merupakan sebuah tamparan jg buat kita spy kita lebih menghargai dan mau memakai produk2 asli indonesia.

sok bgt y gw? bodo haha.

eh tp ge seneng deh, kita kompak berbatik besok :)) kayaknya itu menunjukkkan kalo kita masih cinta ma indonesia dan kita kompak gt. apa si haha

oia, indonesia kembali dilanda gempa2 dan tsunami kecil :((
let us pray for indonesia, semoga tuhan masih cukup mandang kita ya supaya ga dikasih cobaan yg lebih berat lg.

hmm, dunia makin kacau aja men.
ga cuma d Indonesia yang lagi kena bencana2 gni, negara tetangga juga.

check these :
ini ga pake editan photoshop ato red scale ato apalah.
ini asli men. Australia lagi kena badai debu dan seluruh kota memerah seperti ini.
astagaa, semoga ga pada kena paru2 basah deh mereka.

semoga mereka semuaaaa yang lagi kena bencana diberi ketabahan ya dalam menjalankan ini semua. lets pray for the best. amiiinnnnnnn!

yasuda.ngantuk, bye.