thoughts #226

i am bad at keeping stuff. i dont know about keeping you.

universe kinds of slapping me. sweet.

akhir2 ini saya kembali membulatkan tekad saya yang sempat sudah hilang. yaitu ; going abroad.
to be honest, sampai sekarang saya belum melaksanakan apa2 untuk mendekati tujuan itu. like i said, i just have the destination but not knowing how to get there.

taunya mauuu aja. sampai tadi malem, saya menemukan secercah kecil harapan. yang memungkinkan saya kesana. and that was it. gue. mesti. nyoba.

at least i tried! do you remeber that the door wont be opened for those who didnt knock?
dan tekad itu semakin membara ketika hari ini gue ngelihat foto album teman gue yang udah nyampe di Paris buat sekolah beberapa hari lalu. ARGHH...

mau banget :/

so thats it. the funny thing is, gue baru tau ada fitur facebook baru yang menyediakan er, apa ya, menunjukan? status kita di hari yang sama, tahun2 lalu.
dan lo mau tau apa status gue hari ini, di tahun 2009?

 click the image for bigger image.

DANG!! gue berasa digampar men. anjir kenapa bisa pas gini?  dihari yang sama, gue menginginkan hal yang sama. dan di hari yang sama, universe slaps me hard on my face. he's like saying 

"liat Ga. lo liat itu tahun berapa? 2009!! fckin 2009!! dan sekarang pertengahan 2011!! dan lo belom kemana manaa?! cupu lo! sampe kapan lo mau nunggu? if you're gonna sit there in from of computer and wishing something happens. i tell you, it wont. GO FCKIN OUTSIDE. DO FREAKIN SOMETHING."

 so here i am, fighting for my future. to see the other side of the world. WISH ME LUCK.

:(

someone ask me bout my high school life.

i dont what to say, if you ask me how is my high school life. 

they are the answer.

miss doing retarded things with y'all. 

i really miss the old y'all. 

the other side of piracy.

my friend just got back from NY and she brought Miss Daisy from Marc Jacobs. i love Marc Jacobs but it doesnt make me go crazy bout them. besides i dont really often using perfume. but the scent of miss daisy is so lovely i gotta admit.

so instead of buying a real one, (and i guess its quite pricy in here) i am thinking of making one. wait wait, making? do you mean you're gonna making the scent of miss daisy in some kind of lab and mixing all the chemicals by yourself?
no, stup. in Indonesia, we got a lot of talented useless people.

we do it all by ourselves. hahaha
like this, i know there are a lot of place who can hijack this perfume. and also others branded perfume.
i dont have to tell you that they are chemistry master or some kind of professor but, they can do it.

i dont know how the hell. living in crisis and developing countries makes you creative. you gotta be opportunist.

so i know, maybe some of you gotta say this is a bad thing to do. hijacking/copying someone's work. but let see from the other point of view. 

but then again, life isnt only about whats good and bad. its about balancing.
(subtitle switch to bahasa) 
lo bilang piracy itu kriminal. trus lo mau berhentiin piracy dan bikin orang2 yang hidup dari piracy it jobless?
trus lo mau membiarkan hasil karya lo mandek disini dan eksklusif karena harga yang ga bisa dijangkau semua lapisan masyarakat.

trus lo, puas dengan itu? ga berbagi. terlalu egois. terlalu serakah karena hak lo merasa dirampas. apakah trus lo langsung jatuh miskin hanya karena piracy itu? yuk coba liat pemusik-pemusik di luar sana yang karyanya di bajak dan bisa di download bebas di internet.
gue ga lantas ngerasa bersalah tuh mendownload lagunya secara illegal setelah nonton liputan rumahnya yang bisa nampung warga sekampung.


siapapun lo, dan lo punya karya, dan karya lo dibajak. berbanggalah. artinya karya lo bisa berguna bagi orang lain. artinya karya lo punya nilai jual. dan kalo lo ngerasa it ga adil. hey, believe me. life's fair. what comes around, goes around. semakin lo memberi, semakin lo ga punya apa2, dari situ lo akan dituntutu semakin mencari lagi dan akan punya apa2 lagi nantinya. yang lebih baik. dan begitu seterusnya.
ya kan?

see? yang mau gue tekankan disiin, its about balancing. kalo lo mikir suatu hal itu buruk, think again. think the other side. hidup itu ga cuma punya 1 sisi. dan ga ada yang salah sama berbagi. kalo dengan pembajakan itu gue malah bisa menghidupi beratur-ratus orang. kenapa ngga? toh gue ga akan membawa mati harta gue.

tersesat

ada 3 jalan.
antara pemberian, keinginan, dan kenyataan.

jalannya remang namun panjang.
panjang namun terang.
remang namun tidak menyenangkan.

ada kebebasan palsu dalam pilihan.

karena 3 jalan itu, mengarah pada akhir yang sama.
sampah.

tapi setidaknya, temani saya jalan, ya?

#17AN

(up up up!)
*brb nangiss*

beda video clip : MULAN JAMEELA-ABRACADABRA

gue tau video ini dari salah satu tweet di timeline gue. penasaran kayak apa gue cek sore ini.dan pas liat.. omg. gue gtau mesti mulai dari mana.
jujur, semenit pertama gue bosen. gue terus pause dan liat komen2nya.
banyak pro dan kontra soal VC ini. biasa lah ya.

sebagian besar dari komentarnya setuju kalo ini mirip sama Prince of Persia. yaa.. gimana ya. emang mirip sih. tapi toh gue ga bilang mereka jiplak. klo emang jiplak, ya shame on you.

soal animasi. first of all, gue salut sama mereka. berani bikin VC total animasi. apalgi untuk seorang Mulan Djameela ya yang biasanya VC mengedepankan live action dari si Mulan sbg daya tariknya hehe.yaa its good to be different.
tapi... bukannya sotoy, tapi di mata gue animasinya masih kasar dan kaku bgt. banyak deatil yang missing.
emang mungkin masalah budget ato apalah ya, tapi... GO ANIMASI INDONESIA. still so much things to work there. keep it up.

soal musik... ga jelek ah. gue ga bisa komen byk. ga jelek tapi ga suka jg gue.

soal jalan cerita dan konsep dari VC in.. gue ga dapet. cerita sm lirik lagu, ga nyambung. gue kenapa berasa video buatan amatir yang menggabungkan potongan game dengan lagu yang dipilih asal ya?

overall, VC ini menurut gue masih mentah. jadinya maksa. gue suka idenya menggunakan animasi, mungkin tujuannya baik dan mencoba hal yang baru. tapi, tolong digarap lebih serius dan matang. jadi bikin mingkem mereka semua yang ngatain di youtube. gue ga jago animasi dan gue ga gitu suka VC ini tapi toh ga membuat gue sampe ngatain dan mencaci maki video ini. respect the creator! geez.

if you dont like it, just say it. you dont have to curse on it. it's rude.

agustus ini..

saya melewatkan kesempatan besar saya, which harusnya bisa dan akan, tapi ga jadi, untuk ke bandung dan menyaksikan hujan meteor Perseus di boscha.

hukum saya. oh, ini udah hukuman ya..

note to self

so, you gotta back on track.

1. carry your camera more often.
2. listen more music
3. watch more movies
4. buy more magz
5. doodle more
6. write more
7. GO OUTSIDE.

the top 10 traits out of 90 that uniquely describe ME

TRY IT HERE

Unflappable

You are not a slave to your emotions. It takes a lot to upset or unnerve you. That's why you're a good person to have around in a crisis.
You don't let it all hang out, which means that those around you often don't know the pressures you're under or what you're going through. You're not the kind of person people run from in a crisis.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.
You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Impulsive

You trust your your instincts. What others may see as rash behavior is, for you, simply going with your gut. Individuals with a high score on the "impulsive" trait tend to try new, sometimes outrageous, things.
You are not timid. For you, spending time microscopically examining the pros and cons of every decision means never getting anything accomplished.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.
You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Carefree

You do what you need to do, without demanding that you be perfect. The world isn't flawless and you don't feel the need to pretend that you can make it flawless in your own little way. Therefore, you don't examine everything with a microscope and are comfortable cutting yourself and others a lot of slack.
You don't need for everything you touch to turn out perfectly. You don't go looking for errors, omissions, shoddy work, or bad taste.

Loose

You feel that a clean, orderly desk is the sign of a person who doesn't have enough to do. Schedules and "to do" lists feel stifling; you thrive on a sense that anything goes, and know that the world won't end if you don't clean up after finishing a job.
You don't need to know that everything is in its place; it is not empowering to you to feel that the world around you is neat and organized. Mowing down every item on your "to do" list, every day, does not bring you joy.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Accessible

You're comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn't like what they see it's not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the "accessible" trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.
You don't see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.

Slapdash

You believe things will turn out fine even if they don't go precisely according to plan. As far as you're concerned, it's not the end of the world if a project falls short of perfection.
You don't feel compelled to dot every "i" and cross every "t."

utopia in disguise.

but, being in this situation, like now knowing where to go or which way to take. makes you know.. how important, to have passion, to stick it in my mind. and pursue it.

ive been thnking so much, t\\looking up to the people i thought already make it. they wont be like they are now, if not bcs of.. they have something that running up in their veins and crashing down their nerves to be insane enough, to get it. to reach it. in any fckin way. -what the hell im talking bout.

theres always a slight blissful you can get from any kind of downiest moment in your life. if you were clear enough to see it.

at least know i know.  how it feels to be lost, and seeking my deepest passion back. my truly passion.

bcs back in old days, i always know what i want. like im choosing social over science. art over routines. being so rulebreaker instead of being obey. bcs i (think) i know what i want.
until these days, i am suddenly lost. and unsure. about what i am going through.

but then, i have to be back. ciao!

writing means being honest.

disini, kali ini saya mau mencoba jujur ya.

mungkin satu dua dari kalian ada yang notice keabsenan saya, dimana biasanya saya akan menulis paling tidak 3-5 posts seminggu, tapi kali in, tidak 1 post pun dalam minggu terakhir.

anyway, saya sedang mengalami, kebuntuan. ah gatau juga si nih buntu apa ngga. yang jelas rasanya semua yang coba saya keluarkan, ga enak. ga pantes dan ga worthy untuk di publish. sampah.
isinya cuma curhatan anak manja. najis sendiri.

dan kemudian saya akan berlari ke archives, yang pernah saya tulis dlu, dan bertanya sendiri kenapa saya bisa nulis kayak gitu. kayak bukan saya....

dan kemudian rasa ga pantes akan menyergap. dan bikin saya, males ngeblog lagi.
sampai sore ini, saya sampai pada satu kesimpulan, dimana semua orang bercerita, maka dari itu semua orang bisa nulis, tergantung apa mereka berani utk jujur. dan skg, saya belum bisa.

writing is being honest to yourself. where you write all your thoughts straight from your pen. thats why i choose wrting with my hand and pen instead of, typing.
i dont know. like theres a certain gap when i type.

then, now, it's not about how you write. but what you write. since writing is being honest. telling the truth from your head, you gotta have a great personality so ppl interested in reading your thoughts.
its about how you sell your personality through your words.

see? everyone can write. tapi ga semua orang bisa ngejual tulisan mereka. its all depends on their personality. karena balik lagi, ga semua orang sama.

pelajaran ya buat cowo-cowo diluar sana..

kita (cewe) ga butuh yang cupu. cupu doesnt mean you look like geeky or nerd.
cupu artinya.. cowo yang yg cuma manis dimulut. we dont buy your words. means, you are not brave enough, to fight for us.
if you really want us, FIGHT FOR US, till the end.

if you dont, then bye. 

ingin ingin..

sekarang ini.... sedang kentang sekali.
saya diinginkan oleh yang tidak saya inginkan dan mengingini yang tidak ingin dingini oleh saya. HAHAHAH kentang kan?
makan deh tuh kentang..

sleep when you die.

so hai, i notice my long no-post term here, so pleasee.. pardon me. im in the middle of big stagnancy here.

mm, tadi malem, saya ga bisa tidur. seperti biasa. jadilah, saya ga tidur sama sekali. hahah
what i wanna told here is, ketika gue ga tidur, gue pura2 tidur (eh? mulai ngablu kan nih otak) dan ketika gue pura2 tidur..
i noticed my dad always come to my room every morning.
at first i was annoyed. until i realized, he came to my room to turn off the air conditioner and cleaning my glasses.
cleaning, my fckin glasses! at 5 fckin AM in the morning!

gees. i was like.. awww thast the very sweet of you dad :')
i am kind of girl who dont fall for a sweet words and girly and romantic things. but this, is truly....... lovely. to me.
what he did to me. its simple, but meaningful to me.

and  i was like, i wouldnt know this if i sleep. everytime you sleep, you missed something.
so try to not sleep sometimes ppl.
so many things happen while we're sleeping.

so i guess, i'll sleep now. i dont care what i missed. ive seen much. i need to rest this whole body before i start craving brains.

thoughts #225

as soon as you stop wanting something. you get it.
so it happens to "him". i will never get him. bcs i will never stop wanting him.

thoughts #224

you make me jealous. you make me not willingly to let you go.
you are no good to me.